Spider-Man Does An “About Face” To Stalking Princess Melita Bonaparte

Her Imperial Highness fell in love with Spider-Man this summer, despite being married to the Burger King. Priests & psychiatrists & paranormal experts have all tried to warn her to avoid a web of her undoing, pleading with her that Spider-Man is a #Marvel comic character that has been turned into a film franchise, but the stubborn Bonaparte Princess will not listen to reason. The Princess told us, “If I wear just the right mask, Spider-Man will fall in love with me, he will want no other. He will think I am a Spider, just like he is.”

The whole problem started when she saw THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2 @ #AMC—This peek will show you how it all started…#shareAMC

YOU TUBE OF OFFICIAL TRAILER: THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2

The Most Beautiful Woman in the World, is convinced that she is worthless, unless she can be turned into a Spider.   "I will become a Spider through Force of Will, " the Princess has proclaimed. We tried to tell her that it takes an egg to become a Spider, not a mask.  We fear that the people of Serbia will not take her seriously as their Queen Regnant, if she does not stop this troublesome charade.

The Most Beautiful Woman in the World, is convinced that she is worthless, unless she can be turned into a Spider. “I will become a Spider through Force of Will, ” the Princess has proclaimed. We tried to tell her that it takes an egg to become a Spider, not a mask. We fear that the people of Serbia will not take her seriously as their Queen Regnant, if she does not stop this troublesome charade.

It seems that Princess Melita Bonaparte has mixed reality with fiction.  She is prepared for a career in politics, but not for marriage.  Her thinking is that she will fool the Amazing Spiderman into thinking she is of the same species & that they may make lots of spiders together.  We fear that she has been bitten by the love bug & will end as a black widow if she does not come to her senses.

It seems that Princess Melita Bonaparte has mixed reality with fiction. She is prepared for a career in politics, but not for marriage. Her thinking is that she will fool the Amazing Spider-Man into thinking she is of the same species & that they may make lots of spiders together. We fear that she has been bitten by the love bug & will end as a black widow if she does not come to her senses.

mkmkmkm

Princess Melita Bonaparte was enchanted by spiders as a small child, an obsession that she never quite outgrew.

Princess Melita Bonaparte was enchanted by spiders as a small child, an obsession that she never quite outgrew.

The Princess has become so keen on Spider-Man, that she carries symbols of him everywhere she happens to be.

"I cannot bear to let him out of my sight. I have eyes only for Spider-Man."--Princess Melita Bonaparte

“I cannot bear to let him out of my sight. I have eyes only for Spider-Man.”–Princess Melita Bonaparte

Her Imperial Highness remains utterly convinced that the #AMC amazing give-away card was, in reality, Spider-Man using a Sign Language Short Cut that meant that she must wait for him to appear in her life @ just the right moment.

The photograph that caused an Empire to fall out of the reach of the most qualified Monarch in the world.  Princess Melita Bonaparte became utterly devoted to Spider-Man.

The photograph that almost caused an Empire to fall out of the reach of the most qualified Monarch in the world. Princess Melita Bonaparte became utterly devoted to Spider-Man. “I hope some day, The Princess will understand that what I did, by unmasking her, was for for her own good.”–Spider-Man

Even when rational thinking seems to be returning to the Imperial Princess, Spider-Man will appear “When I least expect him, when I have even ceased to think about him, I keep seeing him! I don’t know what to do!” wailed the Princess.

"At first I thought it was possible that this was all in my mind," the Princess admitted, in a rare interview.  "But I step outside the Palace walls, and what do I see?  It is making me crazy!"

“At first I thought it was possible that this was all in my mind,” the Princess admitted, in a rare interview. “But I step outside the Palace walls, and what do I see? It is making me crazy!”

In the final analysis, Spider-Man, non-too-gently literally saw through the machinations of the Imperial Princess, and yanked her mask off, putting an end to her frustrating efforts of constantly trying to claim the climbing web designer, as her very own true love. “I live like a hermit, and am willing to serve in any capacity that Her Imperial Highness needs, but not on a personal level. I place her on a pedistal, and there, she must remain. She can only make a marriage of State with a Royal of equal rank,” tearfully added Spider-Man, “I wish things could be different, but she is not a Spider, no matter how many times she comes to #AMC.”

Sadly, but with no ambiguity, Spider-Man put a stop to Princess Melita Bonaparte's obsession with wanting to become a Spider.  "She must become the Empress of the 21st Century, and I will do all I can to help her in attaining that goal.  But she must find a descendant from Charlemagne & Empress Eudoxia for marriage," explained Spider-Man.

Sadly, but with no ambiguity, Spider-Man put a stop to Princess Melita Bonaparte’s obsession with wanting to become a Spider. “She must become the Empress of the 21st Century, and I will do all I can to help her in attaining that goal. But she must find a descendant of #Charlemagne & Empress #Eudoxia for marriage,” explained Spider-Man.

Princess Melita Bonaparte: The New Hot Cop of The Castro

The soon-to-be released motion picture about Officer Chris Kohr, The Hot Cop of the Castro will be played by Her Imperial Highness, Princess Melita Bonaparte. Princess Melita did a screen test today, and it went far beyond expectations. “Of course, I cannot divulge much information at this time, but I am so very excited to be offered the part…it was a joy that Paramount employees were not calling me asking about my car!” enthused the ebullient Princess.

When asked about playing the part of a man, she replied, “I am a natural, just like Marlene Dietrich was. Who else has the versatility to play so many interesting roles?”

At that, we let it rest. But she insisted, “I will at last get the Oscar for this part, I deserve it.”

So, to the world out there hungry for any celebrity news, this is the latest.

Princess Melita Bonaparte, of the Imperial Line, will play a San Francisco Police Officer–and the name of the film we asked. The Princess responded, “IN THE ORANGE LINE OF DUTY.” We think Lasse Hallström has agreed to direct. But we forgot to ask him. We hope that The Castro Theatre will premiere it for us.

Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte is ecstatic to be cast in the newest biopic soon-to-be released (as soon as they come up with a script & director) IN THE ORANGE LINE OF DUTY-about the trials of being officer Chris Kohr, and the transition from being unknown to becoming an international icon.  The part was tailor made for the Bonaparte Princess.

Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte is ecstatic to be cast in the newest biopic soon-to-be released (as soon as they come up with a script & director) IN THE ORANGE LINE OF DUTY-about the trials of being officer Chris Kohr, and the transition from being unknown to becoming an international icon. The part was tailor made for the Bonaparte Princess.

Melita Fashionista: How An Imperial Princess Puts A Face On Fashion!

Her Imperial Highness is no dummy when it comes to fashion, understanding that individual style is much more important than keeping up with the latest runway collection. But there is a blandness about models & manniquins that the Princess finds very upsetting.

“It hurts to see that our uniqueness as people is not given the credit it needs. So, I decided to put a face on fashion, mine!” Thus, it is that Princess Melita Bonaparte, the Most Beautiful Woman in the World, has now entered the world of haute couture simply by being a model herself, not charging a thing for her services.

“I just want people everywhere to know that they can be somebody, and how better to express this concept than by being a model for various clothing lines? It is a wonderful project that I hope will bring joy to millions who don’t know how to become computer programmers. Just be beautiful and let others take your photograph! It’s harder work than you may think,” declares the Princess.

The charm of song lyrics about San Francisco appeal to the Princess, & she readily agreed to participate in this project.

The charm of song lyrics about San Francisco appealed to the Princess, & she readily agreed to participate in this project. “I particularly enjoyed the use of calligraphy as part of the design,” explained the Most Beautiful Woman in the World, PRINCESS MELITA BONAPARTE.

"Retaining my connection to the Emperor Napoleon & our Bonaparte heritage, gets me all excited," the Princess breathed heavily to us whilst being interviewed.  Her Imperial Highness is the Mistress of Multi-Task, being photographed & interviewed @ the same time!

“Retaining my connection to the Emperor Napoleon & our Bonaparte heritage, gets me all excited,” the Princess breathed heavily to us whilst being interviewed. Her Imperial Highness is the Mistress of Multi-Task, being photographed & interviewed simultaneously!

"I felt so very lucky to have the best hair dresser & photographer possible.  It was important to me to have the highest production values possible. I wanted a different look for each set of garments," Her Imperial Highness told us.

“I felt so very lucky to have the best hair dresser & photographer possible. It was important to me to have the highest production values possible. I wanted a different look for each set of garments,” Her Imperial Highness told us.

"It was all new to me," explained the Princess.   "I must admit, by the end of the day, I was exhausted.  Being a perfectionist, I had thousands of 'takes' before carefully choosing the right one.  I lost so much weight. I think I got down to 93 pounds & still felt fat."   Here the Princess in seen with a Belgian lace veil, an accessory she insisted was in keeping with her Mediterranean heritage.

“It was all new to me,” explained the Princess.
“I must admit, by the end of the day, I was exhausted. Being a perfectionist, I had thousands of ‘takes’ before carefully choosing the right one. I lost so much weight. I think I got down to 93 pounds & still felt fat.” Here the Princess in seen with a Belgian lace veil, an accessory she insisted was in keeping with her Mediterranean heritage.

“My hope in doing this was to help raise awareness of the need to Restore the Greek Monarchy. I want to help pave the way for their return to their rightful place in Greek history & culture. They should not be relegated to antiquity.”Princess Melita Bonaparte: THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD.

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