The Micro-Mini Condo Minimalist Living Craze Started in San Francisco-El Toro Ca-Ca!

From all accounts that I have seen, printed newspaper, magazines, and various Internet articles, the general consensus seems to be that San Francisco has become the most expensive city in the United States in terms of rents & home ownership. This is not a good thing. In this instance, being number one has put us on the bottom of a very smelly & contrived dung heap.

Various Real Estate Agents are having a field day in their branding campaigns of “smaller is better.” The el Toro Ca-ca that real estate marketing experts get paid to splatter us with goes something like this: Their goal is to get us to pay more money for less living space & be happy with the stench that goes along with being part of a trend. We are being expected to literally buy into the concept that we don’t need much more than a mattress. Concepts such as art collections or versatile wardrobes are things we have no business having. Instead of living like adults, we are now expected to lower our standard of living, and we are supposed to go around with smile faces! In these tiny units (700 Square feet or less, in some instances) that are being marketed as upscale, you would not be able to have space for a smile button collection.

It’s for certain that the novelty of designer miniaturization will wear off, as the concept of not having space for a pair of crutches or a walker hits home when illnesses disrupt life in miniature. Suddenly, the cute preppy who needs a wheel chair will find out big time just what being handicapped really means. It won’t be funny or pretty to attempt to cope with illness or any state of decrepitude in living arrangements that are intended to put one’s life on hold. Holy Orders & Monasteries will become bastions of luxury.

We are being told that 700 Square Feet of living space is a luxury, and that we should be happy with even less than that. We are being told that we should pay just under a million dollars to live in apartments that are smaller than the average walk-in closet. We we being told to get rid of our things & to spend all of our disposable income in buying tiny living units that are not adequate for any adult person, let alone for one’s family of choice. Why should we accept living in packing crates not much bigger than a refrigerator? It’s sort of like getting skim milk when you want whole milk.

Here is the cute version of how compartmentalised living is SUPPOSED to look like from Barcelona: Let us Americans apply several coats of this hogwash patina to our culture & see it for what it really is: A bill of goods—We don’t need stuff.

Dumbed Down Buying in Barcelona: It’s good for you! How many thousands did he have to spend to create this? What happens when he needs a wheelchair, or wants to have a library, or a small art collection? He can’t support writers or artists, not living like this. It’s a cute video, but it’s not Versailles, nor even a good mobile home. It’s a load of expensive, downsized crap. This video, while well executed, is telling us to live like children, camping out–and dropping out from the adult world of real living. A rocking chair would never fit in this place, nor would a guest. The impracticality of sharing your space on a functional level with others should be obvious.

Here is the same, basic, miniature, minimalist crap from Paris:

In San Francisco, we have a core group who live outside the boundaries of cutesy miniature & expensive designer spaces that are supposed to make the single person feel that h/she has actually accomplished something by becoming The Incredible Shrinking Wo/Man. Lily Tomlin’s film was prophetic. In San Francisco, it is called being homeless & here is how they live.

LET US IMAGINE THE DAILY JOY OF THIS MODULAR UNIT!

Here, we can see we need no art collection, the mural on the building to which this modular unit was so cleverly affixed, has an automatic work of art, which doubles as a load bearing wall.  The person has done an excellent job of recycling cardboard containers, once used to crate kitchen appliances that this dweller would not be able to afford.  Please notice his clever use of red & blue water repellent materials.  All he needs is a place to sleep. There is no need for a high standard of living, no need for superfluous closet spaces, no need for toilets, showers, or their attendant 'products'.  Food is based upon the prehistoric hunter/gatherer model.  This modular unit is, indeed, priceless--a legacy of Ronald Reagan, the Great Communicator, who never had to live like this, nor was ever held accountable for his role in contributing to the homeless we see daily in this City of Saint Francis.   This individual Hooverville, gets plenty of fresh air, and street access is simple.  There are no parking problems--but being attacked in the middle of the night by representatives of the Koch Brothers is a very real possibility.  After all, we doubt that property taxes are being paid, and the Koch Brothers want us all to do our part in trickle down economics.  We would suggest making the closed St Joseph's Catholic Church, diagonally across the street, available to house people, but it's not exactly modular.  Alas, San Francisco is frumpy in how it puts forth it's life in miniature compared to our more elegant Spanish & French counterparts.  Ooops, no room for a counter, unless it's moduar!  Stay tuned for more El Toro Ca-Ca!

Here, we can see we need no art collection, the mural on the building to which this modular unit was so cleverly affixed, has an automatic work of art, which doubles as a load bearing wall. The person has done an excellent job of recycling cardboard containers, once used to crate kitchen appliances that this dweller would not be able to afford. Please notice his clever use of red & blue water repellent materials. All he needs is a place to sleep. There is no need for a high standard of living, no need for superfluous closet spaces, no need for toilets, showers, or their attendant ‘products’. Food is based upon the prehistoric hunter/gatherer model. This modular unit is, indeed, priceless–a legacy of Ronald Reagan, the Great Communicator who never had to live like this. This Hooverville, gets plenty of fresh air, and street access is simple. There are no parking problems–but being attacked in the middle of the night by representatives of the Koch Brothers is a very real possibility. We would suggest making the closed St Joseph’s Catholic Church, diagonally across the street, available to house people, but it’s not exactly modular. Alas, San Francisco is frumpy in how it puts forth it’s life in miniature compared to our more elegant Spanish & French counterparts. Ooops, no room for a counter, unless it’s moduar! Stay tuned for more El Toro Ca-Ca!

Less is not more, less is expensive & less is cramped & crowded.
New York Apartment Squeezes The Out of the Dwellers. Buying into reduction in Manhattan.
(Some day he will figure this out).

Lizabeth Scott (1922-2015)–Noir Will Never Be The Same…

I can’t exactly remember when I first became aware of Lizabeth Scott as an acting persona. It would have to be sometime in the Mid 1960s, when many films started to gain a following due to being televised via either the national network system, or the local/regional offshoots. My guess is that Frances Farmer may have hosted some of Lizabeth Scott’s films from her Indianapolis affiliate. ??? In any event, she made a very solid & favourable impression on me–her allure, her defiance, her real eyebrows, her lower & husky voice, all combined to show me a woman who was not quite like the other Hollywood Stars I was used to seeing.

She had a commanding presence, not beautiful like Grace Kelly, but more down-to-earth, but composed of enough glamour to lift her into what seemed a rarefied & slightly dangerous lifestyle. In her parts she was able to connive, charm, steal–and would make one horrible moral choice after another–and the men whose lives intersected with her came to a bad end. Today, we call them managers. Believe me, trust me, it was far more fun in play acting for films than the dreadful stuff of day time reality that will never be televised, nor ever see the light of day.

I miss Lizabeth Scott. I wish I could have gotten to know her–to get her take on what all those dramatic moments caught on film might have meant to her…Perhaps, it was just a job for her. But for me, it was a whole, new & strange way to see a world I would never be a part of, except either through television or at the back of an increasingly rare repertory theatre.

Farewell, Lizabeth Scott! You left us a fine legacy of the femme fatale….lessons that seemed to have been lost on the next generations who lived out what you played on-screen. Rest in peace. I hope we meet, some fine day!

You Tube Montage of TOO LATE FOR TEARS–Starring Lizabeth Scott

A Beautiful Visual Tribute to Lizabeth Scott via You Tube:

Slap for Too Late For Tears--Princess Melita Bonaparte's Parody of this splendid Noir Masterpiece!

Slap for Too Late For Tears–Princess Melita Bonaparte’s Parody of this splendid Noir Masterpiece!

A Photograph of the Actual Poster Used to Promote Too Late For Tears

Film Poster For TOO LATE FOR TEARS--on its own merit.  February 2014-Castro Theatre.

Film Poster For TOO LATE FOR TEARS–on its own merit. February 2014-Castro Theatre.

AND TO ADD THIS SUPERB STILL PHOTOGRAPHY TRIBUTE FROM DAILY MOTION. IT IS BEAUTIFUL!

My Untold #ParanormalActivity With A Singing Banana-Finally Released!

My only encounter with a singing banana was one I got from Safeway. I just learned that Safeway is going to be purchased by some other bigger-than-Safeway company, probably owned by the Koch Brothers & Comcast. My singing banana, once safely home, told me that it was a hybrid, and that it sang like Vera Lynn. It also told me, that if I knew what was good for me, I’d better not go around making any silly Vera Lynn jokes.

My banana, then broke into a beautiful Sound-a-like Very Lynn song. I can’t say it was lip synching as the banana, hybrid or no, had no lips to synch. So, after the concert, the only sinking left was for my teeth to end the #ParanormalActivity, and to keep my word about not making any Vera Lynn jokes.

I think the Koch Brothers are so depressing, that it was an easy promise to keep to my lovely hybrid singer. So, a fond farewell, to my Vera Lynn singing sensation.

Vera Lynn, Proper & Prior To #ParanormalActivites of a Transformational Nature

For a brief, but better understanding of her role in Western History: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vera_Lynn

Dedicated to those who stood up to the forces of evil, while others fiddled almost to the point of extinction…

And Dame Vera Lynn, still living @ 97–no wonder Petula Clark keeps up her busy schedule–what a role model for any performing artist! Utterly amazing!

Noir & Day–Julie-1956/Presented @ NOIR CITY 2015!

When Doris Day crossed over to the Dark Side (to paraphrase the programme notes from Noir City’s 13th Annual San Francisco Film Noir Festival)…she really did it. Her portrayal of a victimized wife of a psychotic husband (played by the gloriously handsome, Louis Jourdan) was successful & really had the audience rooting for her survival. By not trying to become another persona, such as imitating Barbara Stanwyck, and being a ‘hard woman.’ Doris Day retained elements of her familiar persona, but dug deeper into the elements of fear to create a character who was not living ‘happily ever after’ in marriage. Instead, she puts two & two together, and the only solution is to get away from her husband.

The plot line does, indeed, stretch the elements of suspension of disbelief nearly to the breaking point. What keeps it all in line, are superb performances by the supporting cast, and Doris Day’s impeccable interpretation of the role. Doris Day proved in JULIE that she was more than adequate to the task of creating a character who was not all sugar & spice. This film was a splendid choice for Noir City, giving audiences a rare opportunity to see another side of Doris Day in a thrilling motion picture that deals dramatically with the forces of good & evil.

Bravo, Doris Day, Louis Jourdan! And thank you to Eddie Muller & all who made this 2015 Noir City screening possible!

YOU TUBE TRAILER OF JULIE (“Run, Julie! Run For Your Life!”)

See the #fireworks I created by blogging on #WordPressDotCom. My 2014 annual report.

See the #fireworks I created by blogging on #WordPressDotCom. My 2014 annual report..
It was sad to begin 2015 with the passing of Donna Douglas. She represented an innocence that many of us once thought we had. She was smart, knew when to quit, and part company with the pressures of constant fame. But, still, it’s sad to know that she is gone.

GOODBYE DONNA DOUGLAS–YOU GAVE US MUCH TO LAUGH ABOUT!!! REST IN PEACE!!!
You Tube Showing Donna Douglas Working A Grand Stairway As Elly May Clampett

And, words not needed here…a loving tribute to her Memory by…..

A Cab Driver & A Nun-Mother Superior Vena Cava, OSF

MOTHER SUPERIOR VENA CAVA SHARES HER DARKEST SECRETS

Mother Superior Vena Cava makes a Confession & renews her vows.

Mother Superior Vena Cava makes a Confession & renews her vows.

A cab driver picks up a nun. She gets into the taxi, and the driver won’t stop staring @ her.

She asks him why is he staring & he replies, “Sister, I want to ask you something, but I don’t want to offend you.”

She answers, “My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you are as old as I am, and have been a nun for as long as I have, you get a chance to see & hear just about everything. I am not cloistered, as you can see. I am sure there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”

“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”

She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that: number one, you have to be single, and number two, you must be Catholic.”

The taxi driver is very excited & says, “Yes, I am single & I’m Catholic, too”

The nun says, “Okay, pull into the next alley,” He does & the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the taxi driver starts crying.

“My dear child, says the nun, Why are you crying?”

“Forgive me, Sister, but I have sinned. I lied. I must confess, I’m married & I’m Jewish.”

The nun says, “That’s okay. My name is Kevin & I’m on my way to a Halloween party.”

Some People Are Just So Picky!

There are people in the world who don’t want to share their most delicious food with anyone! It’s so discouraging. Those little tykes did not hurt her, not one bit! They were full of love & so innocent! Let us all go to a French bakery & pretend just like it was in the film, “I’ll have what she’s having.”

Maggots can be such sweet & lovely creatures. You can get them free with any croissant order. Now, if you don’t want all the extras that go with a croissant, and you wish France would restore their Monarchy, then order a sandwich. You don’t get anything extra in a sandwich, unless you pay more money for it. So, you will only get two slices of bread, and no maggots, and nothing else. If you want mayonnaise, that’s $5.00 extra, so is one tiny pickle slice. One paper-thin slice of meat will take a bank loan.
In San Francisco, we can’t even consider getting free maggots. If you asked for maggots on a sandwich, the person who takes your order, would be pressing one of those secret buttons under the counter, and an entire #SanFranciscoPoliceDepartment #SWATTeam would be on site within seconds. No, you can’t get free maggots in San Francisco. Everything costs extra!

YOU TUBE SHOWING SPECIAL GUEST STARS IN A WONDERFUL CROISSANT! THEY WERE FREE!

Now, didn’t that just make your mouth water & get things going for your preparation for Halloween 2014? Of course, it did. Don’t try to claim that you would take this back & make all kinds of silly complaints. You have not seen the extra thick milkshakes yet.

Unless this leads to a national outcry, and that 5th Republic goes away with all those annoying politicians, this would be a good time to Restore the French Monarchy. The slogan will be perfect for all those picky eaters: MONARCHY WITHOUT MAGGOTS!

There, how one You Tube can complete the French Revolution, and go back 360 degrees to the way it was always supposed to be!

Bon appetit