Bonaparte Passport Binge Bums Bureaucracy!

The function of a Passport is to create jobs for people who can’t work in the real world? Or is it to give permission to cross imaginary boarders legally, so that you can go to Constantinople & end up in jail there for doing what the locals do? You got me! But without a Passport, once I go to Constantinople (which is illegally called Istanbul), I can’t come back here.

Princess Melita Bonaparte explains that Passports were issued according to the Bible. I knew she’d say that. She claims to be kin to King Solomon. I looked it up in Wikipedia, and found out that what she said appears to be true. But she claims that Passports are now issued by Multiplex Cinemas & that’s how she got hers, by going to see films all the time & having them issue her a new Passport almost weekly. “I wanted to be able to go to every country in the world,” she said.

The Passport Office Staff were so fed up with the obvious (to them) document fraud, that one of them shot Princess Melita Bonaparte.  The passport office worker quit her job that very day, and is still on the lam.

The Passport Office Staff were so fed up with the obvious (to them) document fraud, that one of them shot Princess Melita Bonaparte The passport office worker quit her job that very day, and is still on the lam. [/caption
In English history, King Henry V issued the first Passport, and Princess Melita Bonaparte claims to have that in her possession, and uses this as proof that she SHOULD be the reigning Monarch of the United Kingdom. “I keep in touch will all world issues by reading People Magazine, the National Enquirer, and going to action films. This qualifies me to be far more suited to manage the country than any of those Bush people!” The Princess screamed this so loudly @ 3:00, that car alarms went off, and someone called the police. False Alarm.

[caption id="attachment_6126" align="aligncenter" width="460"]Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte actually thought that this #shareAMC #staycations was an authentic passport & went home, fiddled around, printed it, and tried to leave the country. Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, actually thought that this #shareAMC #staycations was an authentic passport & went home, fiddled around, printed it, and tried to leave the country.

She, of course, got caught…

What worked as a #Megamoviefan did not work as a form of legal identity.  #shareAMC tried to explain that they had no control of Princess Melita Bonaparte's affairs, foreign or domestic.

What worked as a #Megamoviefan did not work as a form of legal identity. #shareAMC tried to explain that they had no control of Princess Melita Bonaparte’s affairs, foreign or domestic.

The Imperial Princess really did think that she could have endless passports all over the world, due to her Imperial & Royal status.

Many will shake their heads with disbelief--but Princess Melita truly thought that #Maleficent was a country, same as #Transformers, #Godzilla.  For some reason, she did not have that level of confusion about #Spider-Man.  She thought he issued the Passport, and that it was a perfectly legal document.  Her response to being asked what was the reason she was making a trip to any given country, was to reply, "#staycation."

Many will shake their heads with disbelief–but Princess Melita truly thought that #Maleficent was a country, same as #Transformers, #Godzilla. For some reason, she did not have that level of confusion about #Spider-Man. She thought he issued the Passport, and that it was a perfectly legal document. Her response to being asked what was the reason she was making a trip to any given country, was to reply, “#staycation.”

The Bonaparte Princess got #staycation confused with the song made famous by singer #ConnieFrancis. We had to include a video, to show her the difference in spelling!

The Bonaparte Princess was so in love with #Spider-Man, that she thought she could get away with claiming that they were married.  It did not work, as Spider-Man ripped off her mask, to protect his legal rights from being compromised. It created much tension between France & USA.

The Bonaparte Princess was so deeply in love with #Spider-Man, that she thought she could get away with claiming that they were married. It did not work, as Spider-Man ripped off her mask, to protect his legal rights from being compromised. It created much tension between France & USA.

kookoko
kokok

After Spider-Man drew his line in the sand (or webbed her out of his life), Princess Melita Bonaparte turned to #Hercules for help.  By that time she was in a state of desperation, having violated all the #Anti-Hapsburg laws in #Austria.  She had no where to go.

After Spider-Man drew his line in the sand (or webbed her out of his life), Princess Melita Bonaparte turned to #Hercules for help. By that time she was in a state of desperation, having violated all the #Anti-Hapsburg laws in #Austria. She had no where else to go. No #ViennaSauges for the Princess.

koko
koko

Her last attempt @ Passport fraud was having her twin brother, Prince Roland Bonaparte II (better known as #CaptainSpaulding), pose for her. Her thinking was that no one would be able to tell the difference!  This attempt almost worked, airport security let her get through.  It was not till she got out the gin & had too  much, that she gave herself away!

Her last solo attempt @ Passport fraud was having her twin brother, Prince Roland Bonaparte II (better known as #CaptainSpaulding) pose for her. Her thinking was that no one would be able to tell the difference! This attempt almost worked, airport security let her get through. It was not till she got out the gin & had too much, that she gave herself away!

One of her other relatives (who prefers not to be identified, because he actually still has a Throne) got her a “Passport” that passed.

#Rumourhasit that the recent abdication of His Majesty, The King of Spain, was traced to his illegal effort to help his cousin Princess Melita Bonparte, obtain this illegal, but much more professional looking Passport.  We hope that she does not end up wearing an orange jump suit, unless it comes from the House of Versace.

#Rumourhasit that the recent abdication of His Majesty, The King of Spain, was traced to his illegal effort to help his cousin, Princess Melita Bonparte, obtain this illegal, but much more professional looking Passport. We hope that she does not end up wearing an orange jump suit, unless it comes from the House of Versace.

We were saddened to learn of the Abdication of His Majesty, King Juan Carlos of Spain. We were stunned to learn that it was because of his efforts to help his befuddled cousin gain access to Greece to help in the Restoration of their Monarchy.

Spider-Man Does An “About Face” To Stalking Princess Melita Bonaparte

Her Imperial Highness fell in love with Spider-Man this summer, despite being married to the Burger King. Priests & psychiatrists & paranormal experts have all tried to warn her to avoid a web of her undoing, pleading with her that Spider-Man is a #Marvel comic character that has been turned into a film franchise, but the stubborn Bonaparte Princess will not listen to reason. The Princess told us, “If I wear just the right mask, Spider-Man will fall in love with me, he will want no other. He will think I am a Spider, just like he is.”

The whole problem started when she saw THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2 @ #AMC—This peek will show you how it all started…#shareAMC

YOU TUBE OF OFFICIAL TRAILER: THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2

The Most Beautiful Woman in the World, is convinced that she is worthless, unless she can be turned into a Spider.   "I will become a Spider through Force of Will, " the Princess has proclaimed. We tried to tell her that it takes an egg to become a Spider, not a mask.  We fear that the people of Serbia will not take her seriously as their Queen Regnant, if she does not stop this troublesome charade.

The Most Beautiful Woman in the World, is convinced that she is worthless, unless she can be turned into a Spider. “I will become a Spider through Force of Will, ” the Princess has proclaimed. We tried to tell her that it takes an egg to become a Spider, not a mask. We fear that the people of Serbia will not take her seriously as their Queen Regnant, if she does not stop this troublesome charade.

It seems that Princess Melita Bonaparte has mixed reality with fiction.  She is prepared for a career in politics, but not for marriage.  Her thinking is that she will fool the Amazing Spiderman into thinking she is of the same species & that they may make lots of spiders together.  We fear that she has been bitten by the love bug & will end as a black widow if she does not come to her senses.

It seems that Princess Melita Bonaparte has mixed reality with fiction. She is prepared for a career in politics, but not for marriage. Her thinking is that she will fool the Amazing Spider-Man into thinking she is of the same species & that they may make lots of spiders together. We fear that she has been bitten by the love bug & will end as a black widow if she does not come to her senses.

mkmkmkm

Princess Melita Bonaparte was enchanted by spiders as a small child, an obsession that she never quite outgrew.

Princess Melita Bonaparte was enchanted by spiders as a small child, an obsession that she never quite outgrew.

The Princess has become so keen on Spider-Man, that she carries symbols of him everywhere she happens to be.

"I cannot bear to let him out of my sight. I have eyes only for Spider-Man."--Princess Melita Bonaparte

“I cannot bear to let him out of my sight. I have eyes only for Spider-Man.”–Princess Melita Bonaparte

Her Imperial Highness remains utterly convinced that the #AMC amazing give-away card was, in reality, Spider-Man using a Sign Language Short Cut that meant that she must wait for him to appear in her life @ just the right moment.

The photograph that caused an Empire to fall out of the reach of the most qualified Monarch in the world.  Princess Melita Bonaparte became utterly devoted to Spider-Man.

The photograph that almost caused an Empire to fall out of the reach of the most qualified Monarch in the world. Princess Melita Bonaparte became utterly devoted to Spider-Man. “I hope some day, The Princess will understand that what I did, by unmasking her, was for for her own good.”–Spider-Man

Even when rational thinking seems to be returning to the Imperial Princess, Spider-Man will appear “When I least expect him, when I have even ceased to think about him, I keep seeing him! I don’t know what to do!” wailed the Princess.

"At first I thought it was possible that this was all in my mind," the Princess admitted, in a rare interview.  "But I step outside the Palace walls, and what do I see?  It is making me crazy!"

“At first I thought it was possible that this was all in my mind,” the Princess admitted, in a rare interview. “But I step outside the Palace walls, and what do I see? It is making me crazy!”

In the final analysis, Spider-Man, non-too-gently literally saw through the machinations of the Imperial Princess, and yanked her mask off, putting an end to her frustrating efforts of constantly trying to claim the climbing web designer, as her very own true love. “I live like a hermit, and am willing to serve in any capacity that Her Imperial Highness needs, but not on a personal level. I place her on a pedistal, and there, she must remain. She can only make a marriage of State with a Royal of equal rank,” tearfully added Spider-Man, “I wish things could be different, but she is not a Spider, no matter how many times she comes to #AMC.”

Sadly, but with no ambiguity, Spider-Man put a stop to Princess Melita Bonaparte's obsession with wanting to become a Spider.  "She must become the Empress of the 21st Century, and I will do all I can to help her in attaining that goal.  But she must find a descendant from Charlemagne & Empress Eudoxia for marriage," explained Spider-Man.

Sadly, but with no ambiguity, Spider-Man put a stop to Princess Melita Bonaparte’s obsession with wanting to become a Spider. “She must become the Empress of the 21st Century, and I will do all I can to help her in attaining that goal. But she must find a descendant of #Charlemagne & Empress #Eudoxia for marriage,” explained Spider-Man.

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