The Micro-Mini Condo Minimalist Living Craze Started in San Francisco-El Toro Ca-Ca!

From all accounts that I have seen, printed newspaper, magazines, and various Internet articles, the general consensus seems to be that San Francisco has become the most expensive city in the United States in terms of rents & home ownership. This is not a good thing. In this instance, being number one has put us on the bottom of a very smelly & contrived dung heap.

Various Real Estate Agents are having a field day in their branding campaigns of “smaller is better.” The el Toro Ca-ca that real estate marketing experts get paid to splatter us with goes something like this: Their goal is to get us to pay more money for less living space & be happy with the stench that goes along with being part of a trend. We are being expected to literally buy into the concept that we don’t need much more than a mattress. Concepts such as art collections or versatile wardrobes are things we have no business having. Instead of living like adults, we are now expected to lower our standard of living, and we are supposed to go around with smile faces! In these tiny units (700 Square feet or less, in some instances) that are being marketed as upscale, you would not be able to have space for a smile button collection.

It’s for certain that the novelty of designer miniaturization will wear off, as the concept of not having space for a pair of crutches or a walker hits home when illnesses disrupt life in miniature. Suddenly, the cute preppy who needs a wheel chair will find out big time just what being handicapped really means. It won’t be funny or pretty to attempt to cope with illness or any state of decrepitude in living arrangements that are intended to put one’s life on hold. Holy Orders & Monasteries will become bastions of luxury.

We are being told that 700 Square Feet of living space is a luxury, and that we should be happy with even less than that. We are being told that we should pay just under a million dollars to live in apartments that are smaller than the average walk-in closet. We we being told to get rid of our things & to spend all of our disposable income in buying tiny living units that are not adequate for any adult person, let alone for one’s family of choice. Why should we accept living in packing crates not much bigger than a refrigerator? It’s sort of like getting skim milk when you want whole milk.

Here is the cute version of how compartmentalised living is SUPPOSED to look like from Barcelona: Let us Americans apply several coats of this hogwash patina to our culture & see it for what it really is: A bill of goods—We don’t need stuff.

Dumbed Down Buying in Barcelona: It’s good for you! How many thousands did he have to spend to create this? What happens when he needs a wheelchair, or wants to have a library, or a small art collection? He can’t support writers or artists, not living like this. It’s a cute video, but it’s not Versailles, nor even a good mobile home. It’s a load of expensive, downsized crap. This video, while well executed, is telling us to live like children, camping out–and dropping out from the adult world of real living. A rocking chair would never fit in this place, nor would a guest. The impracticality of sharing your space on a functional level with others should be obvious.

Here is the same, basic, miniature, minimalist crap from Paris:

In San Francisco, we have a core group who live outside the boundaries of cutesy miniature & expensive designer spaces that are supposed to make the single person feel that h/she has actually accomplished something by becoming The Incredible Shrinking Wo/Man. Lily Tomlin’s film was prophetic. In San Francisco, it is called being homeless & here is how they live.

LET US IMAGINE THE DAILY JOY OF THIS MODULAR UNIT!

Here, we can see we need no art collection, the mural on the building to which this modular unit was so cleverly affixed, has an automatic work of art, which doubles as a load bearing wall.  The person has done an excellent job of recycling cardboard containers, once used to crate kitchen appliances that this dweller would not be able to afford.  Please notice his clever use of red & blue water repellent materials.  All he needs is a place to sleep. There is no need for a high standard of living, no need for superfluous closet spaces, no need for toilets, showers, or their attendant 'products'.  Food is based upon the prehistoric hunter/gatherer model.  This modular unit is, indeed, priceless--a legacy of Ronald Reagan, the Great Communicator, who never had to live like this, nor was ever held accountable for his role in contributing to the homeless we see daily in this City of Saint Francis.   This individual Hooverville, gets plenty of fresh air, and street access is simple.  There are no parking problems--but being attacked in the middle of the night by representatives of the Koch Brothers is a very real possibility.  After all, we doubt that property taxes are being paid, and the Koch Brothers want us all to do our part in trickle down economics.  We would suggest making the closed St Joseph's Catholic Church, diagonally across the street, available to house people, but it's not exactly modular.  Alas, San Francisco is frumpy in how it puts forth it's life in miniature compared to our more elegant Spanish & French counterparts.  Ooops, no room for a counter, unless it's moduar!  Stay tuned for more El Toro Ca-Ca!

Here, we can see we need no art collection, the mural on the building to which this modular unit was so cleverly affixed, has an automatic work of art, which doubles as a load bearing wall. The person has done an excellent job of recycling cardboard containers, once used to crate kitchen appliances that this dweller would not be able to afford. Please notice his clever use of red & blue water repellent materials. All he needs is a place to sleep. There is no need for a high standard of living, no need for superfluous closet spaces, no need for toilets, showers, or their attendant ‘products’. Food is based upon the prehistoric hunter/gatherer model. This modular unit is, indeed, priceless–a legacy of Ronald Reagan, the Great Communicator who never had to live like this. This Hooverville, gets plenty of fresh air, and street access is simple. There are no parking problems–but being attacked in the middle of the night by representatives of the Koch Brothers is a very real possibility. We would suggest making the closed St Joseph’s Catholic Church, diagonally across the street, available to house people, but it’s not exactly modular. Alas, San Francisco is frumpy in how it puts forth it’s life in miniature compared to our more elegant Spanish & French counterparts. Ooops, no room for a counter, unless it’s moduar! Stay tuned for more El Toro Ca-Ca!

Less is not more, less is expensive & less is cramped & crowded.
New York Apartment Squeezes The Out of the Dwellers. Buying into reduction in Manhattan.
(Some day he will figure this out).

Melita Fashionista: How An Imperial Princess Puts A Face On Fashion!

Her Imperial Highness is no dummy when it comes to fashion, understanding that individual style is much more important than keeping up with the latest runway collection. But there is a blandness about models & manniquins that the Princess finds very upsetting.

“It hurts to see that our uniqueness as people is not given the credit it needs. So, I decided to put a face on fashion, mine!” Thus, it is that Princess Melita Bonaparte, the Most Beautiful Woman in the World, has now entered the world of haute couture simply by being a model herself, not charging a thing for her services.

“I just want people everywhere to know that they can be somebody, and how better to express this concept than by being a model for various clothing lines? It is a wonderful project that I hope will bring joy to millions who don’t know how to become computer programmers. Just be beautiful and let others take your photograph! It’s harder work than you may think,” declares the Princess.

The charm of song lyrics about San Francisco appeal to the Princess, & she readily agreed to participate in this project.

The charm of song lyrics about San Francisco appealed to the Princess, & she readily agreed to participate in this project. “I particularly enjoyed the use of calligraphy as part of the design,” explained the Most Beautiful Woman in the World, PRINCESS MELITA BONAPARTE.

"Retaining my connection to the Emperor Napoleon & our Bonaparte heritage, gets me all excited," the Princess breathed heavily to us whilst being interviewed.  Her Imperial Highness is the Mistress of Multi-Task, being photographed & interviewed @ the same time!

“Retaining my connection to the Emperor Napoleon & our Bonaparte heritage, gets me all excited,” the Princess breathed heavily to us whilst being interviewed. Her Imperial Highness is the Mistress of Multi-Task, being photographed & interviewed simultaneously!

"I felt so very lucky to have the best hair dresser & photographer possible.  It was important to me to have the highest production values possible. I wanted a different look for each set of garments," Her Imperial Highness told us.

“I felt so very lucky to have the best hair dresser & photographer possible. It was important to me to have the highest production values possible. I wanted a different look for each set of garments,” Her Imperial Highness told us.

"It was all new to me," explained the Princess.   "I must admit, by the end of the day, I was exhausted.  Being a perfectionist, I had thousands of 'takes' before carefully choosing the right one.  I lost so much weight. I think I got down to 93 pounds & still felt fat."   Here the Princess in seen with a Belgian lace veil, an accessory she insisted was in keeping with her Mediterranean heritage.

“It was all new to me,” explained the Princess.
“I must admit, by the end of the day, I was exhausted. Being a perfectionist, I had thousands of ‘takes’ before carefully choosing the right one. I lost so much weight. I think I got down to 93 pounds & still felt fat.” Here the Princess in seen with a Belgian lace veil, an accessory she insisted was in keeping with her Mediterranean heritage.

“My hope in doing this was to help raise awareness of the need to Restore the Greek Monarchy. I want to help pave the way for their return to their rightful place in Greek history & culture. They should not be relegated to antiquity.”Princess Melita Bonaparte: THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD.

HOW DO YOU SPELL S-T-U-P-I-D???

Today, rumour has it, more than 300 MUNI Drivers called in sick. Is SEIU part of the spelling bee?

This was a total calamity, a particularly nasty act–just the kind of thing inept middle managers do to get even with people they don’t like. Doing harm, and this was harm, does no one any good. All it did was make people very angry & even more frustrated with MUNI than ever before.

In a moribund system like this, all that’s missing is the embalming fluid.

Here is an idea I got from the Internet that might help MUNI out, but we would need at least one person willing to drive!

Here is an idea I got from the Internet that might help MUNI out, but we would need at least one person willing to drive!

Come to think of it, this was a huge public relations miss for all those white, sleek, techie buses that have multiplied like gerbils during the last couple of years. Had they been more Pubic Relations savvy, their managers would have jumped up, called in all their drivers, and given the transit-abandoned people a gratis lift. It would have made good business sense.

This whole MUNI thing got me into a foul mood. I felt sort of underrated & overlooked by a nasty transportation system.

This whole MUNI thing got me into a foul mood. I felt sort of underrated & overlooked by a nasty transportation system.

DO YOU LIKE HORROR STORIES?

This is supposed to be a MUNI bus stop, located @ Laguna Honda.  In reality, it's a fetid toilet.  No 'Saniflush' going on here!

This is supposed to be a MUNI bus stop, located @ Laguna Honda. In reality, it’s a fetid toilet. No ‘Saniflush’ going on here!

I think we get the message loud & clear, passengers don't count for a damned thing, not at all!  Shame on MUNI & SEIU!!!

I think we get the message loud & clear, passengers don’t count for a damned thing, not at all! Shame on MUNI & SEIU!!!

WHEN YOU SEE THIS SIGN, BELIEVE IT!

Now you know, without doubt, per MUNI--Sick Days Are A RIGHT!

Now you know, without doubt, per MUNI–Sick Days Are A RIGHT!

Godzilla Flees San Francisco When He Looks At Apartment Rent Rates!

I met with my (and they keep telling me NOT to make blogging all about me, and I keep doing it anyway!) good friend, Godzilla today. It was utterly impossible to meet & greet & get popcorn @ AMC 1000 Van Ness because he forgot to remind me about Bay To Breakers. When I first got here when Godzilla was in 8th grade, I really & truly thought it was Beta Breakers, a run of drunken college sorority or fraternity people. It took about 10 years for the fog on that issue to lift. Why I am so learning impaired? But Godzilla was fine. He really able to sink his teeth in his latest film role. I just wanted so much to act right along side him, maybe a reptile animal trainer, or a Catholic priest in a straight jacket, trying to give Last Rites to all the dying people.

My poor friend had to contend with these two antecedents of giant, meat-eating, pesky pigeons that had plans on getting first dibs on all the water-front apartments & penthouses with great views. That got all messed up due to their size. They just won’t fit into Million Dollar 700 Square Foot condominiums, the way humans clamour to do around here.

Nope, it was a bit chaotic. The big birds fouled things up for everyone, but the music that was generated by the reptile rebellion was terrific. You can tear up San Francisco, you can earthquake it, and have over-sized lizards come & act out their nuclear waste binge eating, but you can’t close a film made here without some ambiguity & uplift-and that’s just what happened.

Go see this—and believe it! It will happen. There is a reference, belated, to the reason for Godzilla’s coming to life. That reason is because things are out of balance. Too many cell phones being stared at for too long will bring giant reptiles out of the woodwork, out of the strip mines, and they will probably come out from recycling centers. In the case of Godzilla: 2014–what came from Las Vegas did NOT stay in Los Vegas, or Honolulu, or even Paris. Towards the end, we all became one with Detroit, the Godzilla of Cities.

You Tube Trailer of Godzilla: 2014
“You’re hiding something out there…and it’s going to send us back to the Stone Age…”

“Please stand by.” The cameraman always has the last laugh.

You Tube Trailer of Godzilla: 1998
As things turned out, content mattered more than size. But it was still Godzilla!

You Tube Trailer of Godzilla: 1954/2014 Mashup
Images are from the original with voice-over from 2014 version.

Godzilla thundered on the set, we thought at first this was a film...then, the horror unfolded before our unbelieving eyes.  He had returned & meant business!

Godzilla thundered on the set, we thought at first this was a film…then, the horror unfolded before our unbelieving eyes. He had returned & meant business!


Even baby Peeps were not safe. Were they made from nuclear waste? Were they from Las Vegas? They were so innocent, so cute!

Three little Peep huddle in terror, too little to fly away.  They did not know that Godzilla has a 'thing' about flying creatures.  Poor babies...

Three little Peeps huddle in terror, too little to fly away. They did not know that Godzilla has a ‘thing’ about flying creatures. Poor babies…the 4th one did not make it!

Their baby brother is sadly missed.  You can visit his other family members via Facebook.  They are not big enough to withstand Godzilla!  He just does not take kindly to peeps, human or otherwise.  He rules!

Their baby brother is sadly missed. You can visit his other family members via Facebook. They are not big enough to withstand Godzilla! He just does not take kindly to peeps, human or otherwise. He rules!

You Tube of Death Scene From Godzilla: 1954
The original film has something that the remakes did not quite get: beauty, poetry, sublimity. The original Godzilla leaves the viewer with a sense of pathos & empathy for this wronged creature. The compelling music, and the simple gesture of the woman who removed her hat says it all so perfectly. Her eyes fill with tears…because of loss.
That is the great theme of Godzilla, loss. The first film captures that with a majesty unmatched by the others.

??????????????????????????-FIN-??????????????????????????????

The Piet Mondrian of San Francisco MUNI

Somewhere in the process of avoiding eCigarettes, this gem of art made an appearance before me! It was a lucky find. The comparison to the Dutch artist Piet Mondrian was immediately obvious. Have no idea what the intention was for the various tapes, but it was one of those opportunities to snap & save. Maybe it will fare better than the standee art I have so recently discovered!

Piet Mondrian's (Dutch, 1872-1944/original spelling Mondriaan) spirit was here in the subway system, not in an art museum.  March 2014.

Piet Mondrian’s (Dutch, 1872-1944/original spelling Mondriaan) spirit was here in the subway system, not in an art museum. March 2014.

It’s all good, some just simpler than others, and some lasts longer.

Here’s to Piet Mondrian!

MUNI STATION ATTENDANT GIVES THUMBS UP TO DEATH BY BRANDING!

Right after work, a garden slug was smoking an eCigarette while waiting on the Outbound platform @ Market/Castro Streets. I complained to the Station Attendant. Is taking stupid pills part of the job requirement of being a MUNI Station attendant? I was told “There is nothing I can do about it.”

In San Francisco, you have to get 896 permits if you want to paint your back porch red. You have to bribe people to get past the zillions of kilometres of ‘red tape’ just to do the simplest of things for your personal property. You pay 10 cents for a bag at any store, even Burger King.

Are you really going to ask me to believe that it is perfectly okay for slime bags and garden slugs to smoke their goddamned eCigarettes & blow their goddamned smoke in my face on a MUNI platform? Do I have to get cancer from their smoke? Does it take an Act of Congress to get something as obvious as this is to be addressed on an appropriate Public Health level?

Do I have to find an attorney to sue MUNI for permitting this? Or, was this station attendant too afraid of being written up for insubordination (the favourite word of inept managers) to enforce (by-now) well-established social norms?

If it is legal to smoke eCigarettes any place you want to smoke them, then why not just revoke all the laws about smoking and bring it all back to the way it was in 1980, when you could not even go to see a film without gasping through the clouds of smoke? Worse than the fools who buy this stuff & use their lungs as chimneys are the goddamned companies that manufacture this dung. Would you willingly eat poison? Looks like the answer to this dumb question is “Yes” –if it is properly branded, and you get beautiful celebrity endorsements, the lemmings will follow.

These crazed contraptions will prove every bit as dangerous as the ones that are still grown on plantations & still marketed to the people among us who can least afford them.

The banning of smoking in public places includes trash, as well as cigarettes.

It’s the law. MUNI Station attendants need to understand this. A request for enforcement should not be considered something that is to be dismissed or a cause for an argument. Our health is at stake.

Per MUNI Station Attendant, it is just wonderful for you to be subjected to eCigarette smoke from your nearest thug/garden slug on the MUNI platform.  "Nothing can be done."

Per MUNI Station Attendant, it is just wonderful for you to be subjected to eCigarette smoke from your nearest thug/garden slug on the MUNI platform. “Nothing can be done.”

Will this help MUNI Station Attendants better understand the Public Health Issue of smoking while waiting on station platforms is wrong?
)

AND HERE IS THE SLAP IN YOUR FACE: LET BLU eCIGS TAKE BACK OUR FREEDOM!
The hookers on Post Street have more integrity than this one…enjoy your freedom!

)

LET’S GATHER TOGETHER FOR ADDICTION–IT’S COOL, MENTHOL, & BRANDED!

LET’S BRAND TOGETHER & SEE WHO CAN DIE THE SLOWEST POSSIBLE DEATH!!!!
)

Streetlight Records–There’s No Place Like A Store!

Very recently, went ‘online’ to get a DVD of a film that has actress Margaret Avery in a pivotal role. I wanted to get several of them, as she will be here on Saint Valentine’s Day. The film arrived in time, but it was in horrible condition. I would have been mortified to have presented it to her for signature. It looked as if it had been dropped down a sewer & pulled out to dry, then sold as ‘used.’

This store carries a wide variety of recorded entertainment, going beyond records.  One of the few remaining 'brick & mortar' stores left in this type of business.

This store carries a wide variety of recorded entertainment, going beyond records. One of the few remaining ‘brick & mortar’ stores left in this type of business. Located near Castro Street, 2350 Market Street-San Francisco

You won’t have that problem @ Streetlight Records. The variety of items sold goes beyond sound recordings. I am supposing that they retained the name, in part, because of the simplicity of sound & customer familiarity.

They are very good in terms of carrying older DVD copies of films, and it was my luck to find a ‘like new’ version of the film I plan to present to Miss Avery when my turn comes Friday.

This is one of the few places remaining that sells DVDs, VHS, and 33 and one-third rpm recordings.

It’s nice to have a place like this, a place where you can see & touch the merchandise prior to purchase. They also carry new films & compact discs as well as newly released ‘classics.’ In terms of recorded entertainment, there is something for nearly everyone. If they don’t have a particular item in stock, they are good about arranging special orders.

We a lucky to have them in the City.

Streetlight Records, they buy, sell, and trade.

Streetlight Records, they buy, sell, and trade.

If YOU CAN’T FIND IT–

They are very helpful & customer service is one of their priorities.

They are very helpful & customer service is one of their priorities.

DVDs-READY TO TAKE HOME & ENJOY OR WRAP AS A GIFT…

Dreams to be watched, right @ your fingertips.

Dreams to be watched, right @ your fingertips.

And if you want to dream alone, without disturbing anyone—

They sell headphones for the loner, or those who like to enjoy late, late viewings, but don't wish to disturb others.

They sell headphones for the loner, or those who like to enjoy late, late viewings, but don’t wish to disturb others.