The Micro-Mini Condo Minimalist Living Craze Started in San Francisco-El Toro Ca-Ca!

From all accounts that I have seen, printed newspaper, magazines, and various Internet articles, the general consensus seems to be that San Francisco has become the most expensive city in the United States in terms of rents & home ownership. This is not a good thing. In this instance, being number one has put us on the bottom of a very smelly & contrived dung heap.

Various Real Estate Agents are having a field day in their branding campaigns of “smaller is better.” The el Toro Ca-ca that real estate marketing experts get paid to splatter us with goes something like this: Their goal is to get us to pay more money for less living space & be happy with the stench that goes along with being part of a trend. We are being expected to literally buy into the concept that we don’t need much more than a mattress. Concepts such as art collections or versatile wardrobes are things we have no business having. Instead of living like adults, we are now expected to lower our standard of living, and we are supposed to go around with smile faces! In these tiny units (700 Square feet or less, in some instances) that are being marketed as upscale, you would not be able to have space for a smile button collection.

It’s for certain that the novelty of designer miniaturization will wear off, as the concept of not having space for a pair of crutches or a walker hits home when illnesses disrupt life in miniature. Suddenly, the cute preppy who needs a wheel chair will find out big time just what being handicapped really means. It won’t be funny or pretty to attempt to cope with illness or any state of decrepitude in living arrangements that are intended to put one’s life on hold. Holy Orders & Monasteries will become bastions of luxury.

We are being told that 700 Square Feet of living space is a luxury, and that we should be happy with even less than that. We are being told that we should pay just under a million dollars to live in apartments that are smaller than the average walk-in closet. We we being told to get rid of our things & to spend all of our disposable income in buying tiny living units that are not adequate for any adult person, let alone for one’s family of choice. Why should we accept living in packing crates not much bigger than a refrigerator? It’s sort of like getting skim milk when you want whole milk.

Here is the cute version of how compartmentalised living is SUPPOSED to look like from Barcelona: Let us Americans apply several coats of this hogwash patina to our culture & see it for what it really is: A bill of goods—We don’t need stuff.

Dumbed Down Buying in Barcelona: It’s good for you! How many thousands did he have to spend to create this? What happens when he needs a wheelchair, or wants to have a library, or a small art collection? He can’t support writers or artists, not living like this. It’s a cute video, but it’s not Versailles, nor even a good mobile home. It’s a load of expensive, downsized crap. This video, while well executed, is telling us to live like children, camping out–and dropping out from the adult world of real living. A rocking chair would never fit in this place, nor would a guest. The impracticality of sharing your space on a functional level with others should be obvious.

Here is the same, basic, miniature, minimalist crap from Paris:

In San Francisco, we have a core group who live outside the boundaries of cutesy miniature & expensive designer spaces that are supposed to make the single person feel that h/she has actually accomplished something by becoming The Incredible Shrinking Wo/Man. Lily Tomlin’s film was prophetic. In San Francisco, it is called being homeless & here is how they live.

LET US IMAGINE THE DAILY JOY OF THIS MODULAR UNIT!

Here, we can see we need no art collection, the mural on the building to which this modular unit was so cleverly affixed, has an automatic work of art, which doubles as a load bearing wall.  The person has done an excellent job of recycling cardboard containers, once used to crate kitchen appliances that this dweller would not be able to afford.  Please notice his clever use of red & blue water repellent materials.  All he needs is a place to sleep. There is no need for a high standard of living, no need for superfluous closet spaces, no need for toilets, showers, or their attendant 'products'.  Food is based upon the prehistoric hunter/gatherer model.  This modular unit is, indeed, priceless--a legacy of Ronald Reagan, the Great Communicator, who never had to live like this, nor was ever held accountable for his role in contributing to the homeless we see daily in this City of Saint Francis.   This individual Hooverville, gets plenty of fresh air, and street access is simple.  There are no parking problems--but being attacked in the middle of the night by representatives of the Koch Brothers is a very real possibility.  After all, we doubt that property taxes are being paid, and the Koch Brothers want us all to do our part in trickle down economics.  We would suggest making the closed St Joseph's Catholic Church, diagonally across the street, available to house people, but it's not exactly modular.  Alas, San Francisco is frumpy in how it puts forth it's life in miniature compared to our more elegant Spanish & French counterparts.  Ooops, no room for a counter, unless it's moduar!  Stay tuned for more El Toro Ca-Ca!

Here, we can see we need no art collection, the mural on the building to which this modular unit was so cleverly affixed, has an automatic work of art, which doubles as a load bearing wall. The person has done an excellent job of recycling cardboard containers, once used to crate kitchen appliances that this dweller would not be able to afford. Please notice his clever use of red & blue water repellent materials. All he needs is a place to sleep. There is no need for a high standard of living, no need for superfluous closet spaces, no need for toilets, showers, or their attendant ‘products’. Food is based upon the prehistoric hunter/gatherer model. This modular unit is, indeed, priceless–a legacy of Ronald Reagan, the Great Communicator who never had to live like this. This Hooverville, gets plenty of fresh air, and street access is simple. There are no parking problems–but being attacked in the middle of the night by representatives of the Koch Brothers is a very real possibility. We would suggest making the closed St Joseph’s Catholic Church, diagonally across the street, available to house people, but it’s not exactly modular. Alas, San Francisco is frumpy in how it puts forth it’s life in miniature compared to our more elegant Spanish & French counterparts. Ooops, no room for a counter, unless it’s moduar! Stay tuned for more El Toro Ca-Ca!

Less is not more, less is expensive & less is cramped & crowded.
New York Apartment Squeezes The Out of the Dwellers. Buying into reduction in Manhattan.
(Some day he will figure this out).

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