Why Princess Melita Bonaparte HATES Lip Balm & Baby Name Pages

When Royal, one must not name a girl child Ashley. When Imperial, one must not name a boy child Zachariah, unless his father was King Regnant of some non-existent nation-state, now under dominion of Her Imperial Highness Princess Melita Bonaparte. Faddish names just will not serve any good purpose. They will continually be misspelled, unpronounceable, and make the bearer have to go through innumerable explanations about what kind of drugs were all the rage during the time prior to gestation. We do not suggest that all boys be named Sue, nor all girls be named John, nor do we endorse the opposite. Just, please, don’t use websites for naming your child.

The best use of baby name websites would be to use them as instructed, THEN, pick a decent name from your family history, or a unique (but not distressing) name that you favour & name your child. Autumn is a season. If Autumn is going to be your unfortunate choice (and the British Royal Family now has a Season in the Family), when will Winter be tortured into Wynter, and become a name?

Now, as for lip balm, Her Imperial Highness does not like it. It is impossible for her to use it & causes her no end of addictive behaviour, such as chewing on her lips, or constantly looking for the stuff which always seems to take on a life of its own by being lost & having to be replaced. There must not be much money in Lost & Found Lip Balms, but it might be a good business to fund if one has nothing else better to do with one’s fortune, and Walmart is out of your brand. No to lip balm, it’s not good for paper mache lips, anyway. No to weird Internet-based baby names. If you are going to use lip balm while tapping away on your cellular telephone seeking out some outrageous name for a baby, you risk being held up @ gunpoint, losing purse, mobile device, and retaining the lip balm without the lid that has got lost in all the commotion.

Those Bonaparte Bee-stung lips will be there to help you transition to not using lip balm.  And when tempted to come up with Internet -based names for your child,  read my lips, "DON"T!" The class is Pass/Fail.

Those Bonaparte Bee-stung lips will be there to help you transition to not using lip balm. And when tempted to come up with Internet -based names for your child, read my lips, “DON”T!”

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