RECIPE FOR HOLY WATER: BOIL THE HELL OUT OF IT!

Normally, I can’t cook anything more complicated than Pop Tarts. It’s just not my area of expertise. I enjoy cleaning the kitchen, pushing dust from one end of my realm to another, but I do make gourmet quality Holy Water.

You will need a stove. You will need a container for water. This may sound obvious, but we live in a very stressful world, but the bigger the container, the more water you can put in the container. Don’t feel bad if you wouldn’t have thought of this.

If you have indoor plumbing, you will need to learn how to use the faucet of the kitchen sink. Draw the amount of water that you need in the container, then boil the Hell out if it. You can watch this, and prove that a watched pot will boil. So, you will be doing something scientific as well as spiritual in this process.

This is going to be the critical part. You see, there are filthy people in this world, Fred Phelps, Pat Robertson–They will require total immersion. If opportunity knocks & you get the chance to save their Souls, don’t worry about their bodies. Let the Total Immersion & fond memories of any of your favourite Alfred Hitchcock or Roman Polanski films take over & you can just immerse the bejesus out of them, with the kindest of intentions, I must add.

This recipe is proven to work, but only if one has the Right Intentions.

These are the basics for gourmet Holy Water recipe: water, container, stove.  The work is simple.  Just pray that you get it right & avoid scalding yourself.

These are the basics for gourmet Holy Water recipe. water, container, stove. The work is simple. Just pray that you get it right & avoid scalding yourself.

This water still has some Hell in it. It has not been boiled or blessed.  It won't do you a bit of good to throw it on the Wicked Witch of the West, or Pat Robertson or Fred Phelps.  It will only be good for drinking or watering plants, things like that.

This water still has some Hell in it. It has not been boiled or blessed. It won’t do you a bit of good to throw it on the Wicked Witch of the West, or Pat Robertson or Fred Phelps. It will only be good for drinking or watering plants, things like that.

The water to the left has had the Hell boiled out if it. It will be ready for Blessing as soon as it cools down.  You will need it when you read about the outlandish & Hellish things that Pat Robertson or Fred Phelps do or say.  Keep this in mind, they need it far more than you do!  They just don't know it.

The water to the left has had the Hell boiled out if it. It will be ready for Blessing as soon as it cools down. You will need it when you read about the outlandish & Hellish things that Pat Robertson or Fred Phelps do or say. Keep this in mind, they need it far more than you do! They just don’t know it.

Now, only if inclined, the last part is having the Hell-free water Blessed.  I called upon the Infant of Prague to do this task.  My image of this Manifestation of Christ came from the Good Will Store. His hand was broken off, and paint was chipped a bit here & there, and his gown needed some sewing.  So, I did all that stuff, and He stepped up to the plate to return the favour.  Now, it's up to Pat & Fred to get all cleaned up!

Now, only if inclined, the last part is having the Hell-free water Blessed. I called upon the Infant of Prague to do this task. My image of this Manifestation of Christ came from the Good Will Store. His hand was broken off, and paint was chipped a bit here & there, and his gown needed some sewing. So, I fixed all that stuff, and the Infant stepped up to the plate to return the favour. Now, it’s up to Pat & Fred to get all cleaned up or Totally Immersed.

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