Escaped Elephant Mauls Princess!

San Francisco: Powell & Market Street MUNI terminal entrance/exit. Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, was attempting to do volunteer work, lending her name on behalf of the Grey Gardens of Greece, Tatoi Palace. “It’s in terrible condition, so much in need of restoration as is the Monarchy itself.”

Her selfless efforts were met with an unexpected & life threatening encounter with an escaped elephant, nearly causing her premature demise, and certainly spoiled her fund-raising efforts last weekend. “Funny how the controlled press did not report about this, they don’t care about my Greek relatives & the squalor that has befallen the Tatoi Palace, one of the homes for my Grandparents, Prince & Princess Andrew of Greece. My Grandmother was better known as being Princess Marie Bonaparte. They would both be so sad about the condition of the Palace.”

“I think the elephant is a lineal descendant of those used by Hannibal when he crossed the Alps a few years ago,” mused the still unnerved Bonaparte Heiress.

“It was a crime, a set up–to get rid of me, and keep the Greeks chained to that dysfunctional republic that is forever in debt. They need to put me in charge of things, that’s the best way!”

This was an assassination attempt, the Princess maintains.  Everyone saw it, and no one tried to help me.

“This was an assassination attempt,” the Princess maintains. “Everyone saw it, and no one tried to help me.”

“If this had happened to Princess Anne, she would have gotten a saddle & ridden it in a horse show! But, Oh, no, the crowd was screaming “Kill! Kill!” Why do they hate me so?”

Princess Melita Bonaparte's fund-raising efforts go largely unnoticed as she barely escapes with her life. "I'd do it again, for the people of Greece," claims the dedicated Imperial Royalist.

Princess Melita Bonaparte’s fund raising efforts go largely unnoticed as she barely escapes with her life. “I’d do it again, for the people of Greece,” claims the dedicated Imperial Royalist.

“Tatoi Palace is my home,” declares Princess Melita Bonaparte
“I want it back!”

SIGN UP FOR KILLER YELLOW JACKET WASP TRAINING PROGRAMME!

This is one class that City College of San Francisco should offer. It would sell out, require expansion, and put them on the international map of institutions of higher learning!

All I need are a few volunteers willing to die for art. It’s easy. Make sure your life insurance is in force for more that two years. Make me the beneficiary, and credit will be transferable. You just won’t BEE there to benefit.

Come on now, I have bills to pay. Take full advantage of this opportunity of a life time! Literally!

Don’t be scared. It only takes a few moments, and if you survive, you’ll get the credits all transferred–all nice & neat…and while all your friends are doing Excel spreadsheets, you have a deal with a publishing house, your own reality show, and an interview with Jay Leno! Don’t let C-Suite executives sell you short on living the American Dream. Swarm on over!

Don’t let this opportunity pass you by—You can’t get this on LinkedIn. You will be encouraged to make a You Tube, bring your own bottle & equipment!

Napoleonic heroes required for yellow jacket training programme.  Don't be stung by being left out of this hive!   Buzz here now!

Napoleonic heroes required for yellow jacket training programme. Don’t be stung by being left out of this hive! Buzz here now!


Your Personal Trainer: Her Imperial Highness, Princess Melita Bonaparte

Those Bonaparte Bee-stung lips will bee there to help you transition.  The class is Pass/Fail.

Those Bonaparte Bee-stung lips will bee there to help you transition. The class is Pass/Fail.

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