Bonaparte Passport Binge Bums Bureaucracy!

The function of a Passport is to create jobs for people who can’t work in the real world? Or is it to give permission to cross imaginary boarders legally, so that you can go to Constantinople & end up in jail there for doing what the locals do? You got me! But without a Passport, once I go to Constantinople (which is illegally called Istanbul), I can’t come back here.

Princess Melita Bonaparte explains that Passports were issued according to the Bible. I knew she’d say that. She claims to be kin to King Solomon. I looked it up in Wikipedia, and found out that what she said appears to be true. But she claims that Passports are now issued by Multiplex Cinemas & that’s how she got hers, by going to see films all the time & having them issue her a new Passport almost weekly. “I wanted to be able to go to every country in the world,” she said.

The Passport Office Staff were so fed up with the obvious (to them) document fraud, that one of them shot Princess Melita Bonaparte.  The passport office worker quit her job that very day, and is still on the lam.

The Passport Office Staff were so fed up with the obvious (to them) document fraud, that one of them shot Princess Melita Bonaparte The passport office worker quit her job that very day, and is still on the lam. [/caption
In English history, King Henry V issued the first Passport, and Princess Melita Bonaparte claims to have that in her possession, and uses this as proof that she SHOULD be the reigning Monarch of the United Kingdom. “I keep in touch will all world issues by reading People Magazine, the National Enquirer, and going to action films. This qualifies me to be far more suited to manage the country than any of those Bush people!” The Princess screamed this so loudly @ 3:00, that car alarms went off, and someone called the police. False Alarm.

[caption id="attachment_6126" align="aligncenter" width="460"]Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte actually thought that this #shareAMC #staycations was an authentic passport & went home, fiddled around, printed it, and tried to leave the country. Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, actually thought that this #shareAMC #staycations was an authentic passport & went home, fiddled around, printed it, and tried to leave the country.

She, of course, got caught…

What worked as a #Megamoviefan did not work as a form of legal identity.  #shareAMC tried to explain that they had no control of Princess Melita Bonaparte's affairs, foreign or domestic.

What worked as a #Megamoviefan did not work as a form of legal identity. #shareAMC tried to explain that they had no control of Princess Melita Bonaparte’s affairs, foreign or domestic.

The Imperial Princess really did think that she could have endless passports all over the world, due to her Imperial & Royal status.

Many will shake their heads with disbelief--but Princess Melita truly thought that #Maleficent was a country, same as #Transformers, #Godzilla.  For some reason, she did not have that level of confusion about #Spider-Man.  She thought he issued the Passport, and that it was a perfectly legal document.  Her response to being asked what was the reason she was making a trip to any given country, was to reply, "#staycation."

Many will shake their heads with disbelief–but Princess Melita truly thought that #Maleficent was a country, same as #Transformers, #Godzilla. For some reason, she did not have that level of confusion about #Spider-Man. She thought he issued the Passport, and that it was a perfectly legal document. Her response to being asked what was the reason she was making a trip to any given country, was to reply, “#staycation.”

The Bonaparte Princess got #staycation confused with the song made famous by singer #ConnieFrancis. We had to include a video, to show her the difference in spelling!

The Bonaparte Princess was so in love with #Spider-Man, that she thought she could get away with claiming that they were married.  It did not work, as Spider-Man ripped off her mask, to protect his legal rights from being compromised. It created much tension between France & USA.

The Bonaparte Princess was so deeply in love with #Spider-Man, that she thought she could get away with claiming that they were married. It did not work, as Spider-Man ripped off her mask, to protect his legal rights from being compromised. It created much tension between France & USA.

kookoko
kokok

After Spider-Man drew his line in the sand (or webbed her out of his life), Princess Melita Bonaparte turned to #Hercules for help.  By that time she was in a state of desperation, having violated all the #Anti-Hapsburg laws in #Austria.  She had no where to go.

After Spider-Man drew his line in the sand (or webbed her out of his life), Princess Melita Bonaparte turned to #Hercules for help. By that time she was in a state of desperation, having violated all the #Anti-Hapsburg laws in #Austria. She had no where else to go. No #ViennaSauges for the Princess.

koko
koko

Her last attempt @ Passport fraud was having her twin brother, Prince Roland Bonaparte II (better known as #CaptainSpaulding), pose for her. Her thinking was that no one would be able to tell the difference!  This attempt almost worked, airport security let her get through.  It was not till she got out the gin & had too  much, that she gave herself away!

Her last solo attempt @ Passport fraud was having her twin brother, Prince Roland Bonaparte II (better known as #CaptainSpaulding) pose for her. Her thinking was that no one would be able to tell the difference! This attempt almost worked, airport security let her get through. It was not till she got out the gin & had too much, that she gave herself away!

One of her other relatives (who prefers not to be identified, because he actually still has a Throne) got her a “Passport” that passed.

#Rumourhasit that the recent abdication of His Majesty, The King of Spain, was traced to his illegal effort to help his cousin Princess Melita Bonparte, obtain this illegal, but much more professional looking Passport.  We hope that she does not end up wearing an orange jump suit, unless it comes from the House of Versace.

#Rumourhasit that the recent abdication of His Majesty, The King of Spain, was traced to his illegal effort to help his cousin, Princess Melita Bonparte, obtain this illegal, but much more professional looking Passport. We hope that she does not end up wearing an orange jump suit, unless it comes from the House of Versace.

We were saddened to learn of the Abdication of His Majesty, King Juan Carlos of Spain. We were stunned to learn that it was because of his efforts to help his befuddled cousin gain access to Greece to help in the Restoration of their Monarchy.

Godzilla Flees San Francisco When He Looks At Apartment Rent Rates!

I met with my (and they keep telling me NOT to make blogging all about me, and I keep doing it anyway!) good friend, Godzilla today. It was utterly impossible to meet & greet & get popcorn @ AMC 1000 Van Ness because he forgot to remind me about Bay To Breakers. When I first got here when Godzilla was in 8th grade, I really & truly thought it was Beta Breakers, a run of drunken college sorority or fraternity people. It took about 10 years for the fog on that issue to lift. Why I am so learning impaired? But Godzilla was fine. He really able to sink his teeth in his latest film role. I just wanted so much to act right along side him, maybe a reptile animal trainer, or a Catholic priest in a straight jacket, trying to give Last Rites to all the dying people.

My poor friend had to contend with these two antecedents of giant, meat-eating, pesky pigeons that had plans on getting first dibs on all the water-front apartments & penthouses with great views. That got all messed up due to their size. They just won’t fit into Million Dollar 700 Square Foot condominiums, the way humans clamour to do around here.

Nope, it was a bit chaotic. The big birds fouled things up for everyone, but the music that was generated by the reptile rebellion was terrific. You can tear up San Francisco, you can earthquake it, and have over-sized lizards come & act out their nuclear waste binge eating, but you can’t close a film made here without some ambiguity & uplift-and that’s just what happened.

Go see this—and believe it! It will happen. There is a reference, belated, to the reason for Godzilla’s coming to life. That reason is because things are out of balance. Too many cell phones being stared at for too long will bring giant reptiles out of the woodwork, out of the strip mines, and they will probably come out from recycling centers. In the case of Godzilla: 2014–what came from Las Vegas did NOT stay in Los Vegas, or Honolulu, or even Paris. Towards the end, we all became one with Detroit, the Godzilla of Cities.

You Tube Trailer of Godzilla: 2014
“You’re hiding something out there…and it’s going to send us back to the Stone Age…”

“Please stand by.” The cameraman always has the last laugh.

You Tube Trailer of Godzilla: 1998
As things turned out, content mattered more than size. But it was still Godzilla!

You Tube Trailer of Godzilla: 1954/2014 Mashup
Images are from the original with voice-over from 2014 version.

Godzilla thundered on the set, we thought at first this was a film...then, the horror unfolded before our unbelieving eyes.  He had returned & meant business!

Godzilla thundered on the set, we thought at first this was a film…then, the horror unfolded before our unbelieving eyes. He had returned & meant business!


Even baby Peeps were not safe. Were they made from nuclear waste? Were they from Las Vegas? They were so innocent, so cute!

Three little Peep huddle in terror, too little to fly away.  They did not know that Godzilla has a 'thing' about flying creatures.  Poor babies...

Three little Peeps huddle in terror, too little to fly away. They did not know that Godzilla has a ‘thing’ about flying creatures. Poor babies…the 4th one did not make it!

Their baby brother is sadly missed.  You can visit his other family members via Facebook.  They are not big enough to withstand Godzilla!  He just does not take kindly to peeps, human or otherwise.  He rules!

Their baby brother is sadly missed. You can visit his other family members via Facebook. They are not big enough to withstand Godzilla! He just does not take kindly to peeps, human or otherwise. He rules!

You Tube of Death Scene From Godzilla: 1954
The original film has something that the remakes did not quite get: beauty, poetry, sublimity. The original Godzilla leaves the viewer with a sense of pathos & empathy for this wronged creature. The compelling music, and the simple gesture of the woman who removed her hat says it all so perfectly. Her eyes fill with tears…because of loss.
That is the great theme of Godzilla, loss. The first film captures that with a majesty unmatched by the others.

??????????????????????????-FIN-??????????????????????????????

  • Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 415 other followers