The Micro-Mini Condo Minimalist Living Craze Started in San Francisco-El Toro Ca-Ca!

From all accounts that I have seen, printed newspaper, magazines, and various Internet articles, the general consensus seems to be that San Francisco has become the most expensive city in the United States in terms of rents & home ownership. This is not a good thing. In this instance, being number one has put us on the bottom of a very smelly & contrived dung heap.

Various Real Estate Agents are having a field day in their branding campaigns of “smaller is better.” The el Toro Ca-ca that real estate marketing experts get paid to splatter us with goes something like this: Their goal is to get us to pay more money for less living space & be happy with the stench that goes along with being part of a trend. We are being expected to literally buy into the concept that we don’t need much more than a mattress. Concepts such as art collections or versatile wardrobes are things we have no business having. Instead of living like adults, we are now expected to lower our standard of living, and we are supposed to go around with smile faces! In these tiny units (700 Square feet or less, in some instances) that are being marketed as upscale, you would not be able to have space for a smile button collection.

It’s for certain that the novelty of designer miniaturization will wear off, as the concept of not having space for a pair of crutches or a walker hits home when illnesses disrupt life in miniature. Suddenly, the cute preppy who needs a wheel chair will find out big time just what being handicapped really means. It won’t be funny or pretty to attempt to cope with illness or any state of decrepitude in living arrangements that are intended to put one’s life on hold. Holy Orders & Monasteries will become bastions of luxury.

We are being told that 700 Square Feet of living space is a luxury, and that we should be happy with even less than that. We are being told that we should pay just under a million dollars to live in apartments that are smaller than the average walk-in closet. We we being told to get rid of our things & to spend all of our disposable income in buying tiny living units that are not adequate for any adult person, let alone for one’s family of choice. Why should we accept living in packing crates not much bigger than a refrigerator? It’s sort of like getting skim milk when you want whole milk.

Here is the cute version of how compartmentalised living is SUPPOSED to look like from Barcelona: Let us Americans apply several coats of this hogwash patina to our culture & see it for what it really is: A bill of goods—We don’t need stuff.

Dumbed Down Buying in Barcelona: It’s good for you! How many thousands did he have to spend to create this? What happens when he needs a wheelchair, or wants to have a library, or a small art collection? He can’t support writers or artists, not living like this. It’s a cute video, but it’s not Versailles, nor even a good mobile home. It’s a load of expensive, downsized crap. This video, while well executed, is telling us to live like children, camping out–and dropping out from the adult world of real living. A rocking chair would never fit in this place, nor would a guest. The impracticality of sharing your space on a functional level with others should be obvious.

Here is the same, basic, miniature, minimalist crap from Paris:

In San Francisco, we have a core group who live outside the boundaries of cutesy miniature & expensive designer spaces that are supposed to make the single person feel that h/she has actually accomplished something by becoming The Incredible Shrinking Wo/Man. Lily Tomlin’s film was prophetic. In San Francisco, it is called being homeless & here is how they live.

LET US IMAGINE THE DAILY JOY OF THIS MODULAR UNIT!

Here, we can see we need no art collection, the mural on the building to which this modular unit was so cleverly affixed, has an automatic work of art, which doubles as a load bearing wall.  The person has done an excellent job of recycling cardboard containers, once used to crate kitchen appliances that this dweller would not be able to afford.  Please notice his clever use of red & blue water repellent materials.  All he needs is a place to sleep. There is no need for a high standard of living, no need for superfluous closet spaces, no need for toilets, showers, or their attendant 'products'.  Food is based upon the prehistoric hunter/gatherer model.  This modular unit is, indeed, priceless--a legacy of Ronald Reagan, the Great Communicator, who never had to live like this, nor was ever held accountable for his role in contributing to the homeless we see daily in this City of Saint Francis.   This individual Hooverville, gets plenty of fresh air, and street access is simple.  There are no parking problems--but being attacked in the middle of the night by representatives of the Koch Brothers is a very real possibility.  After all, we doubt that property taxes are being paid, and the Koch Brothers want us all to do our part in trickle down economics.  We would suggest making the closed St Joseph's Catholic Church, diagonally across the street, available to house people, but it's not exactly modular.  Alas, San Francisco is frumpy in how it puts forth it's life in miniature compared to our more elegant Spanish & French counterparts.  Ooops, no room for a counter, unless it's moduar!  Stay tuned for more El Toro Ca-Ca!

Here, we can see we need no art collection, the mural on the building to which this modular unit was so cleverly affixed, has an automatic work of art, which doubles as a load bearing wall. The person has done an excellent job of recycling cardboard containers, once used to crate kitchen appliances that this dweller would not be able to afford. Please notice his clever use of red & blue water repellent materials. All he needs is a place to sleep. There is no need for a high standard of living, no need for superfluous closet spaces, no need for toilets, showers, or their attendant ‘products’. Food is based upon the prehistoric hunter/gatherer model. This modular unit is, indeed, priceless–a legacy of Ronald Reagan, the Great Communicator who never had to live like this. This Hooverville, gets plenty of fresh air, and street access is simple. There are no parking problems–but being attacked in the middle of the night by representatives of the Koch Brothers is a very real possibility. We would suggest making the closed St Joseph’s Catholic Church, diagonally across the street, available to house people, but it’s not exactly modular. Alas, San Francisco is frumpy in how it puts forth it’s life in miniature compared to our more elegant Spanish & French counterparts. Ooops, no room for a counter, unless it’s moduar! Stay tuned for more El Toro Ca-Ca!

Less is not more, less is expensive & less is cramped & crowded.
New York Apartment Squeezes The Out of the Dwellers. Buying into reduction in Manhattan.
(Some day he will figure this out).

INVENTOR OF GOOGLE GLASSES PASSES CLASSES

The real inventor of google glasses is Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte. “I invent many things, and make up stuff as I go along. I can’t keep up with all my ideas, so I use my newest invention to take ideas from other people and call their ideas my ideas. It makes taking classes easier, and I get perfect scores on all my tests. It makes managing people easier. They do all of the work, I take credit when the work is good give free doses of Hell when the work is bad! I know that my Most Loyal Subjects like this. They are able to feel that they are part of the governing system. Plus they learn to play by my rules, which change constantly, so they never can be as smart as I am. I am always the smartest little girl in the room and I always have the last word. I am Royal over everybody and I plan to keep it that way. ”

The Princess explained the design process. “I had the lenses of the super glasses imported from The Netherlands, made by direct descendants of Antonie van Leeuwenhoek. That family always did what my family told them to do. This assured me of having the very best. I plan to take over the Dutch throne, but need time to resolve problems in Greece, Portugal, Egypt, Russia, and Italy, before going Dutch! With all this pressure, you can understand why I need to be able to tap into information at all times without appearing to be nosy. I am sort of my own James Bond film, just with fewer action scenes. I let doubles and body guards do all the scary stuff,” the Princess casually mentioned as of this writing. “People don’t want me to take needless risks. My subjects demand to be ruled with common sense. To that end, I must set high standards of safety. So, I can hardly be expected to do my own stunts.”
So, here they are: Goo-Goo Glasses. Sleekly designed so that no one will have a clue that there is a Royal spy in their midst. No place, public or private, will be able to escape detection. “It’s for their own safety. I am doing this for the people, to help them. It is for their own good,” huffed an indignant Melita. “How can anyone NOT like this perfect use of technology? It is for their protection. Everything I do is for the benefit of others.”

Princess Melita Bonaparte, fears that legal problems will get nasty as she continues to claim to be the inventor of google glasses.  I renamed them goo-goo glasses to keep it from being a nasty legal mess," she explained.

Princess Melita Bonaparte hopes to avoid legal problems as she continues to claim to be the inventor of google glasses. “I renamed them Goo-Goo Glasses to keep it from being a nasty, legal mess,” she explained.

Few Monarchs have invented themselves as well as new gadgets, the way Princess Melita Bonaparte has.  She remains constantly engaged in all forms of technology.

Few Monarchs have invented themselves as well as new gadgets, the way Princess Melita Bonaparte has. She remains constantly engaged in all forms of technology. She tells us that people will make passes at Royals in glasses.

ARE YOU DIVERGENT? SAVE YOUR STANDEE FROM BEING TOSSED IN THE DUMPSTER!

Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, has an urgent appeal to make to all DIVERGENTS–Appeal to the Highest Powers to save your beloved DIVERGENT STANDEEE from being tossed into the DUMPSTER! It is bound to happen–that is the sad ‘company policy’ that Her Imperial Highness has learned from her informants.

Princess Melita Bonaparte has always known that she inherited being DIVERGENT from the late Princess Marie Bonaparte.  She studied Freud & then she read Veronica Roth's book to prepare for being thrown alive into the dumpster!  Only you can save the standee from this fate!

Princess Melita Bonaparte has always known that she inherited being DIVERGENT from the late Princess Marie Bonaparte. She studied Freud & then she read Veronica Roth’s book to prepare for being thrown alive into the dumpster! Only you can save the standee from this fate!

IMG_1396

ONLY YOU can help. Princess Melita has done everything she can to help preserve & protect these works of art for your enjoyment, and for the enjoyment of future collectors.

Princess Melita Bonaparte has no hands but yours. Her heart she gives freely, but you must provide her your hands. She is your passionate advocate, your Monarch of Absolute Love.

Be Dauntless, in your support for DIVERGENT!

Princess Melita Bonaparte, now restored to the Imperial Line, read DIVERGENT cover to cover-pleading with theatre managers to save the standee from the Dumpsters.  Can we have a stay of execution?

Princess Melita Bonaparte, now restored to the Imperial Line, read DIVERGENT cover to cover-pleading with theatre managers to save the standee from the Dumpsters. Can we have a stay of execution?

Coming 21 March 2014.

Princess Melita Bonaparte found her brother, Prince Roland Bonaparte II, as part of the DIVERGENT STANDEE.  Single handed, an Army of One, she attempted to preserve & protect this wonderful treasure from ending up in the AMC Dumpster.  She has no hands but yours!

Princess Melita Bonaparte found her brother, Prince Roland Bonaparte II, as part of the DIVERGENT STANDEE. Single handed, an Army of One, she attempted to preserve & protect this wonderful treasure from ending up in the AMC Dumpster. She has no hands but yours!


You Tube Trailer For DIVERGENT

The Piet Mondrian of San Francisco MUNI

Somewhere in the process of avoiding eCigarettes, this gem of art made an appearance before me! It was a lucky find. The comparison to the Dutch artist Piet Mondrian was immediately obvious. Have no idea what the intention was for the various tapes, but it was one of those opportunities to snap & save. Maybe it will fare better than the standee art I have so recently discovered!

Piet Mondrian's (Dutch, 1872-1944/original spelling Mondriaan) spirit was here in the subway system, not in an art museum.  March 2014.

Piet Mondrian’s (Dutch, 1872-1944/original spelling Mondriaan) spirit was here in the subway system, not in an art museum. March 2014.

It’s all good, some just simpler than others, and some lasts longer.

Here’s to Piet Mondrian!

MUPPETS “MOST WANTED” Original Standee & Newly Updated

The newest addition to my active vocabulary is ‘standee.’ In the film world standees (pluralform) are the generally oversized, free-standing photographic (and sometimes accessory-laden) promotional items that serve to advertise films @ the multiplex theatres. AMC 1000 Van Ness Avenue in San Francisco is one such venue. I imagine that some film festivals of newly released “A List” motion pictures have them. Some of them may be filtered down to some repertory houses that might have room for them.

By the grace of a horror film–so January 2014 of me-Paranormal Activities: The Marked Ones, I have become enchanted with them. I see these items as having potential for collectors, those with the green stuff & the space, and those of us who have a particular interest in one or two items. Other possibilities for re-use could include schools, kindergartens-even the opposite end of the age spectrum, assisted living facilities, might be good repositories for some items. It would be a valid re-use, and provide a charming, if somewhat temporary second home for some of them. It would be nice to see the studios engage in some planning that would prolong the shelf-life of these items. Tossing them into the dumpster is just another symptom of American waste.

The Original “Standee” for the upcoming Muppets Film MOST WANTED

This is the original version of the Disney Muppets film standee for Most Wanted.  Here you can see the image of the ever brilliant Tina Fey.

This is the original version of the Disney Muppets film standee for Most Wanted. Here, you can see the image of the ever-brilliant Tina Fey.


At the very least, the theatre chains could at least keep them up whilst the films are still showing. It seems to brutal of the managers to toss this art-form into the dumpster in such a premature fashion.

After slight editing, there may be two characters you may have seen before?

Alas, Tina Fey was headed out by Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte.  Also, Captain Spaulding makes an appearance.  Beneath him lurks Princess Melita's Twin Brother, Prince Roland Bonaparte II.   They got their heads together @ 1000 Van Ness Avenue, San Francisco.  Keeping your head off my shoulders allowed me to photograph these.  Usually, it's due to the 'kindness of strangers.'

Alas, Tina Fey was headed out by Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte. Also, Captain Spaulding makes an appearance. Beneath him lurks Princess Melita’s Twin Brother, Prince Roland Bonaparte II. They got their heads together @ 1000 Van Ness Avenue, San Francisco. Keeping your head off my shoulders allowed me to photograph these. Usually, it’s due to the ‘kindness of strangers.’


YOU TUBE TRAILER FOR THE MUPPETS: MOST WANTED

The Muppets have been around for a very long time & have engaged some of the most talented humans of their era.

Captain Spaulding Look-alike Ranks Up Ladder of Success!

Now Captain Spaulding, like his counterpart, Princess Melita Bonaparte, is taking over America–He is just like a stealth bomb–wants all the tax money & none of the bother. “I don’t want to have to work for a living, I don’t go ’round putting rubber chemicals in bread, and I don’t take dogs inside of restaurants, hospitals, or welfare agencies, so why shouldn’t I get all the money & fame I want?” He pouts like this all the time, and the best thing is just to run the opposite direction when you see him posing in front of pre-dumpster disposal art. But look how wonderful those doomed displays are! That must be part of the poetry of pre-Dumpster detritus. It’s splendid one day & rotting in AMC Dumpsters the very next day! Captain Spaulding is joining forces with Princess Melita Bonaparte in an effort to protect this highly dismissed & unprotected legacy of our culture.

“I just want Paramount to stop calling me about my car. I don’t have a car. Put me in a blockbuster film, and everyone will be happy as a foot long Subway sandwich!”

If only Captain Spaulding would stop digressing & write a dissertation about this art work not being taken seriously by the film industry, maybe he’d get a trip to Stockholm out of the deal, and Princess Melita Bonaparte would get her grave back & she could haunt it happily ever after.

We just have to clam up on that one. It looks as if someone glued a Subway Footlong on Captain Spaulding’s head & he didn’t get it. Poor thing!

If you can’t get Captain Spaulding’s look-alike out of your mind, contact Paramount Studios. Tell them to bring back the Studio System, give him a ten picture contract & all will be well with the world.

A VOTE FOR CAPTAIN SPAULDING LOOK-ALIKE IS A VOTE FOR AMERICA!

This Captain Spaulding look-alike may creep you out, but he is the hope of America & for a world United against taking cinema promotional art & sticking in into a dumpster.  "No more Dumpster Babies made of cardboard," he implores.  Call Paramount-put me in pictures!"

This Captain Spaulding look-alike may creep you out, but he is the hope of America & for a world United against taking cinema promotional art & sticking in into a dumpster. “No more Dumpster Babies made of cardboard,” he implores. “Call Paramount-put me in pictures!”

Let us do everything we can to help Captain America!

Here is proof that the Captain Spaulding look-alike does his part to help Captain America!

"If I can't get into pictures, I'll answer the want ads," says the Captain Spaulding Look-alike. "I just want to do my part for Captain America."

“If I can’t get into pictures, I’ll answer the want ads,” says the Captain Spaulding Look-alike. “I just want to do my part for Captain America.”

CAPTAIN SPAULDING IS MORE THAN A CARDBOARD DECORATION WAITING TO BE DUMPED!

Can you help Captain Spaulding stand up for Film Promotional Art?  Can you keep him from ending in the Dumpster @ 1000 Van Ness Avenue?  Can  film promotional art be saved?  Maybe the Greek Monarchy can help us?

Can you help Captain Spaulding stand up for Film Promotional Art? Can you keep him from ending up rotting in the Dumpster @ 1000 Van Ness Avenue? Can film promotional art be saved? Maybe the Greek Monarchy can help us?

Site of the Missing Grave For Paranormal activities–gone, gone, gone

Site of the missing grave for Paranormal Activities--taken away before the film had even completed its theatrical release & tossed in the dumpster!  What a loss for film fans!

Site of the missing grave for Paranormal Activities–taken away before the film had even completed its theatrical release & tossed in the dumpster! What a loss for film fans!


Captain Spaulding was created by Rob Zombie, who makes films. His look-a-like wears a costume courtesy of Spirit Halloween Costume Stores, and his graven image is due to the technology of Dreambox.

A Doll Named YaYa!-Corn Gourd Doll by M. Miller

For Christmas, a new household member, YaYa, the doll that belonged to the late Princess Antoinette Bonaparte, arrived. She had been missing since the 911 call went out, and later, the Princess was found, her lifeless body providing no clue as to who had done her such harm.

But YaYa is back with us, now. A testimony of the love we all felt for Princess Antoinette, a symbol of the future. YaYa will greet all who gather here.

THE TRAGIC FUNERAL OF PRINCESS ANTOINETTE BONAPARTE EARLIER THIS
YEAR

And now, her beloved YaYa, has been returned–a silent witness to the Memory of Princess Antoinette, whose voice has been forever silenced, but never forgotten.

YaYa, the beloved doll of the brutally murdered Princess Antoinette Bonaparte.  YaYa remains the only witness to what happened to the beloved Antoinette. YaYa will be here to greet everyone with joy & hope for all time.

YaYa, the beloved doll of the brutally murdered Princess Antoinette Bonaparte. YaYa remains the only witness to what happened to the beloved Antoinette. YaYa will be here to greet everyone with joy & hope for all time.

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