The Micro-Mini Condo Minimalist Living Craze Started in San Francisco-El Toro Ca-Ca!

From all accounts that I have seen, printed newspaper, magazines, and various Internet articles, the general consensus seems to be that San Francisco has become the most expensive city in the United States in terms of rents & home ownership. This is not a good thing. In this instance, being number one has put us on the bottom of a very smelly & contrived dung heap.

Various Real Estate Agents are having a field day in their branding campaigns of “smaller is better.” The el Toro Ca-ca that real estate marketing experts get paid to splatter us with goes something like this: Their goal is to get us to pay more money for less living space & be happy with the stench that goes along with being part of a trend. We are being expected to literally buy into the concept that we don’t need much more than a mattress. Concepts such as art collections or versatile wardrobes are things we have no business having. Instead of living like adults, we are now expected to lower our standard of living, and we are supposed to go around with smile faces! In these tiny units (700 Square feet or less, in some instances) that are being marketed as upscale, you would not be able to have space for a smile button collection.

It’s for certain that the novelty of designer miniaturization will wear off, as the concept of not having space for a pair of crutches or a walker hits home when illnesses disrupt life in miniature. Suddenly, the cute preppy who needs a wheel chair will find out big time just what being handicapped really means. It won’t be funny or pretty to attempt to cope with illness or any state of decrepitude in living arrangements that are intended to put one’s life on hold. Holy Orders & Monasteries will become bastions of luxury.

We are being told that 700 Square Feet of living space is a luxury, and that we should be happy with even less than that. We are being told that we should pay just under a million dollars to live in apartments that are smaller than the average walk-in closet. We we being told to get rid of our things & to spend all of our disposable income in buying tiny living units that are not adequate for any adult person, let alone for one’s family of choice. Why should we accept living in packing crates not much bigger than a refrigerator? It’s sort of like getting skim milk when you want whole milk.

Here is the cute version of how compartmentalised living is SUPPOSED to look like from Barcelona: Let us Americans apply several coats of this hogwash patina to our culture & see it for what it really is: A bill of goods—We don’t need stuff.

Dumbed Down Buying in Barcelona: It’s good for you! How many thousands did he have to spend to create this? What happens when he needs a wheelchair, or wants to have a library, or a small art collection? He can’t support writers or artists, not living like this. It’s a cute video, but it’s not Versailles, nor even a good mobile home. It’s a load of expensive, downsized crap. This video, while well executed, is telling us to live like children, camping out–and dropping out from the adult world of real living. A rocking chair would never fit in this place, nor would a guest. The impracticality of sharing your space on a functional level with others should be obvious.

Here is the same, basic, miniature, minimalist crap from Paris:

In San Francisco, we have a core group who live outside the boundaries of cutesy miniature & expensive designer spaces that are supposed to make the single person feel that h/she has actually accomplished something by becoming The Incredible Shrinking Wo/Man. Lily Tomlin’s film was prophetic. In San Francisco, it is called being homeless & here is how they live.

LET US IMAGINE THE DAILY JOY OF THIS MODULAR UNIT!

Here, we can see we need no art collection, the mural on the building to which this modular unit was so cleverly affixed, has an automatic work of art, which doubles as a load bearing wall.  The person has done an excellent job of recycling cardboard containers, once used to crate kitchen appliances that this dweller would not be able to afford.  Please notice his clever use of red & blue water repellent materials.  All he needs is a place to sleep. There is no need for a high standard of living, no need for superfluous closet spaces, no need for toilets, showers, or their attendant 'products'.  Food is based upon the prehistoric hunter/gatherer model.  This modular unit is, indeed, priceless--a legacy of Ronald Reagan, the Great Communicator, who never had to live like this, nor was ever held accountable for his role in contributing to the homeless we see daily in this City of Saint Francis.   This individual Hooverville, gets plenty of fresh air, and street access is simple.  There are no parking problems--but being attacked in the middle of the night by representatives of the Koch Brothers is a very real possibility.  After all, we doubt that property taxes are being paid, and the Koch Brothers want us all to do our part in trickle down economics.  We would suggest making the closed St Joseph's Catholic Church, diagonally across the street, available to house people, but it's not exactly modular.  Alas, San Francisco is frumpy in how it puts forth it's life in miniature compared to our more elegant Spanish & French counterparts.  Ooops, no room for a counter, unless it's moduar!  Stay tuned for more El Toro Ca-Ca!

Here, we can see we need no art collection, the mural on the building to which this modular unit was so cleverly affixed, has an automatic work of art, which doubles as a load bearing wall. The person has done an excellent job of recycling cardboard containers, once used to crate kitchen appliances that this dweller would not be able to afford. Please notice his clever use of red & blue water repellent materials. All he needs is a place to sleep. There is no need for a high standard of living, no need for superfluous closet spaces, no need for toilets, showers, or their attendant ‘products’. Food is based upon the prehistoric hunter/gatherer model. This modular unit is, indeed, priceless–a legacy of Ronald Reagan, the Great Communicator who never had to live like this. This Hooverville, gets plenty of fresh air, and street access is simple. There are no parking problems–but being attacked in the middle of the night by representatives of the Koch Brothers is a very real possibility. We would suggest making the closed St Joseph’s Catholic Church, diagonally across the street, available to house people, but it’s not exactly modular. Alas, San Francisco is frumpy in how it puts forth it’s life in miniature compared to our more elegant Spanish & French counterparts. Ooops, no room for a counter, unless it’s moduar! Stay tuned for more El Toro Ca-Ca!

Less is not more, less is expensive & less is cramped & crowded.
New York Apartment Squeezes The Out of the Dwellers. Buying into reduction in Manhattan.
(Some day he will figure this out).

If You Want To Be Cool–Be Ready To Die For It! Slit your own throat! Do it! Not if you are under 18.

I think Desi Arnaz was the one who came up with syndication. It’s a good idea, you can reuse & recycle. You can gain a sort of useless form of immortality. Why, if you come up with a terrific idea, your intellectual property can sort of rule the world.

That’s just what we did here. Be different. Put off quitting smoking. Put off buying a cell phone upgrade. Put off fixing a leaking roof.

Just put off everything, except the IRS. That idea would be really bad, expensive. You don’t want that.

So, get ready, take that first puff–do it slowly, and put it off as long as you can, before you slit your throat.

If you are under 18, ask parental permission to get fake blood, and make sure you clean up the floor after it’s over–THERE WILL BE FAKE BLOOD!

CLICK & DRAG THAT FIRST CIGARETTE THAT YOU WANTED TO DO WHEN IN 4th GRADE…

…BUT WERE AFRAID YOU’D GET IN TROUBLE IN SCHOOL FOR SLITTING YOUR OWN THROAT!

ARE YOU DIVERGENT? SAVE YOUR STANDEE FROM BEING TOSSED IN THE DUMPSTER!

Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, has an urgent appeal to make to all DIVERGENTS–Appeal to the Highest Powers to save your beloved DIVERGENT STANDEEE from being tossed into the DUMPSTER! It is bound to happen–that is the sad ‘company policy’ that Her Imperial Highness has learned from her informants.

Princess Melita Bonaparte has always known that she inherited being DIVERGENT from the late Princess Marie Bonaparte.  She studied Freud & then she read Veronica Roth's book to prepare for being thrown alive into the dumpster!  Only you can save the standee from this fate!

Princess Melita Bonaparte has always known that she inherited being DIVERGENT from the late Princess Marie Bonaparte. She studied Freud & then she read Veronica Roth’s book to prepare for being thrown alive into the dumpster! Only you can save the standee from this fate!

IMG_1396

ONLY YOU can help. Princess Melita has done everything she can to help preserve & protect these works of art for your enjoyment, and for the enjoyment of future collectors.

Princess Melita Bonaparte has no hands but yours. Her heart she gives freely, but you must provide her your hands. She is your passionate advocate, your Monarch of Absolute Love.

Be Dauntless, in your support for DIVERGENT!

Princess Melita Bonaparte, now restored to the Imperial Line, read DIVERGENT cover to cover-pleading with theatre managers to save the standee from the Dumpsters.  Can we have a stay of execution?

Princess Melita Bonaparte, now restored to the Imperial Line, read DIVERGENT cover to cover-pleading with theatre managers to save the standee from the Dumpsters. Can we have a stay of execution?

Coming 21 March 2014.

Princess Melita Bonaparte found her brother, Prince Roland Bonaparte II, as part of the DIVERGENT STANDEE.  Single handed, an Army of One, she attempted to preserve & protect this wonderful treasure from ending up in the AMC Dumpster.  She has no hands but yours!

Princess Melita Bonaparte found her brother, Prince Roland Bonaparte II, as part of the DIVERGENT STANDEE. Single handed, an Army of One, she attempted to preserve & protect this wonderful treasure from ending up in the AMC Dumpster. She has no hands but yours!


You Tube Trailer For DIVERGENT

When NOIR is War, Noir is Hell-Post World War II Japan Noir Film Festival 2014

This is the year of Noir International. Eddie Muller, the producer & curator of this increasingly successful genre film festival, featured two films from Post World War II Japan. Both of them were directed by the legendary Akira Kurosawa. There was no clean-up, no tidying of the Post War mess, no candy-coating. The background of black marketing, dysfunctional public heath issues, and lack of basic supplies to support ordinary day-to-day functions are reflected in a pool of stagnant water that becomes a constant & silent reference point in the film DRUNKEN ANGEL.

Eddie Muller, writer, film curator, producer, lecturer, visionary, the man who put Noir on the map, and now has taken the concept to higher levels each year since the Noir Festival started 12 years ago.  January 2014

Eddie Muller, writer, film curator, producer, lecturer, visionary: the man who put Noir on the preservationists/restorationist map, and now has taken the concept to higher & international levels each year since the Noir Festival started 12 years ago. Castro Theatre, San Francisco, January 2014

Takashi Shimura plays an alcoholic physician, who needs to abide by the ancient Western proverb of “Physician heal thyself.” His bedside manner is as atrocious as the background in which he must do his best to patch together the broken people of his broken country. Despite his appearance & mannerisms, he is the Angel of Life, trying to bring life to those who are pretty, but in worse physical & emotional condition than he is. Toshiro Mifune, is caught up in a chaotic world of crime & avarice, soon to be doomed by his inability to follow doctors orders & treat his tuberculosis appropriately. Instead, he drinks, smokes, and slugs his way through an underground culture in order to ‘save face’ and prove his worth. It was a struggle from which he could not emerge victorious–and we see the loss of potential, the potential that Japan so much-needed, go to waste, as he throws his life way in the sludge that had, at that time, become the world of a defeated nation.

YOU TUBE DOUBLE OF DRUNKEN ANGEL:Film 1948 & Song by Lucinda Williams from Car Wheels On A Gravel Road 1998

Stray Dog, 1949-also directed by Akira Kurosawa & Starring Toshiro Mifune.

This film is more closely associated with & influenced by the American Noir experience. The emphasis is less upon the Post War infrastructure, and more upon a rookie cop who has had his gun pickpocketed while on public transit. In that respect, those from New York & San Francisco can more easily relate to the overcrowded conditions & the ‘cell mates’ with which we must endure in close quarters on a daily basis. In keeping with Noir, the rookie cop goes on a search for the person who lifted his heater, only to unintentionally go deeper & deeper into an underground cesspool of crime, vice, passion, and vengeance. The gun in question has recently begged re-examination of the issue/question of do guns kill people or do people use guns to kill people? It’s clear that our love affair with Noir embraces guns, but do we want guns to embrace us? (Remember: “It’s a bitter, little world.”)!
Let’s ask the National Rifle Association to embrace Columbine & ask the perennial question: “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?”

Depart from the Film & Listen to Petula Clark, then continue…

YOU TUBE MONTAGE FROM STRAY DOG-edited for horror mode-1949

How To Get A Royal Runaway Elected As Detroit’s Mayor-Del Shannon

When Her Imperial Highness was in the 4th grade, staring out the window, not paying strict attention to her Latin instruction, she dreamed about running away from The Tatoi Palace to Detroit. She wanted something different, she wanted something Supreme! She had not yet met Miss Ross.

Here was her dream: Del Shannon, The Runaway–the dream of Princess Melita Bonaparte, before she matured & Imperial thoughts entered her mind.

Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, looking for work as a model, no computer skills, did not even know how to wait tables in restaurants, or do the fries in fast food joints. All she wanted was Detroit!

"If the telling of my life is a novel, then it will be a bestseller," proclaims Princess Melita Bonaparte.

“If the telling of my life is a novel, then it will be a bestseller,” proclaims Princess Melita Bonaparte.

PRINCESS MELITA BONAPARTE’S DESPERATE ATTEMPTS TO FIND NON ROYAL WORK! SHE BEGGED THE DE YOUNG MUSEUM TO FEATURE HER AS PART OF THE GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING PUBLICITY MACHINE, BUT WAS DEEMED TOO MUCH A LIABILITY–“More Suitable for eye-level supermarket reading,” sniffed one high-ranking board member.

“I know I can bring back Detroit, if the people do not mind electing a Royal Runaway for Mayor,” pleads Princess Melita Bonaparte.

“Once I get Detroit back on its feet, then on to the Tatoi Palace.”–Princess Melita Bonaparte, regarding her 4th grade dreams as a Runaway Royal.

“LET ME BRING PEACE THAT DOES NOT HAVE ELEMENTS OF WAR!”-Princess Melita Bonaparte–“Join me in Prosperity for All.”

Photograph With Disturbing Ideas That Deserve Consideration

Found this stencil on 11th Street–it’s weather faded, but the basic concepts did come through despite the deterioration. It raises many complex points about how we use information, ideas, concepts in our day to day life–on an individual & collective level.

A thousand words is worth a picture.

A thousand words is worth a picture.

Found a film to be released soon that seemed appropriate to mate with the disturbing stenciled design. I can’t say in any definitive way that there is a link, but only offer an observation: that it seems that way from my perception…
The East, in film, what Creative Destroyers is on concrete.

And life is generally the best source for art.

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