Bonaparte Princess Lights Up Black Friday 2013

San Francisco: Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, did of her own free will proclaim during the Annual Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony that all people shall willingly & joyfully work a 10-hour shift next Thanksgiving Day, 12 hours on 25 December 2013–and 14 hours for New Years Day–without any form of compensation. She will, of course, work but it will be to collect extremely heavy fines for those who are not willingly & joyfully working for free. Anyone who is paid for work during these former holidays, will turn said monies over to her “Princess Melita Bonaparte Jewelry Fund.” She expects this to be passed by overwhelming majorities in both Senate & Congress in an Extra-ordinary Session. Only her Birthday will be exempt from taxes. Compulsory celebration of this event, with potlucks, which will be taxed, will be for the restoration of Tatoi Palace, the Grey Gardens of Greece.

She expects to reclaim the Greek Throne at the earliest date possible, and from there, all the rest of Europe’s thrones will be willing given to her by the grateful citizens of her vast & loyal group of international subjects. Once she has completed the Gift of Constantine Thrones, the rest of the world will be obligated to accept her benevolent rule.

She wishes to rule by total & abject devotion–to her. All things must be about her, and nothing else must matter. Her moods will govern how you should feel, not any of the circumstances of your life. “The democratic process is just too complicated, my way is easier & far less expensive All classes will be eliminated, as I will be the ONLY being with money. Obamacare, will get a new computer system–all easily funded by my sense of noblesse oblige. No one will need to read any more ‘how-to’ books, my emotional intelligence will be enough for everyone & I will fix all the problems by having temper tantrums. I have been blessed with a wonderful role model,” the Princess confessed. “I wish I could say that I thought this up all by myself, but I just observed reality and decided to go with this. Why re-invent a bad wheel?”

“There will be new contests of loyalty. The Most Loyal will get wonderful stickers & personally autographed Letters of Reference, and many other brownie points for their resumes,” the Princess has informed us.

“Turning the world upside down is my goal. It was so boring the other way around.”

The chants of "We want Melita!" totally drowned out any other sound.  They did not say what they wanted, but the Princess was visibly moved by the utter devotion of her loyal subjects.

The chants of “We want Melita!” totally drowned out any other sound. They did not say what they wanted, but the Princess was visibly moved by the utter devotion of her loyal subjects.

The Imperial Police Protection Force, a branch of the Napoleonic League, express their Eternal Loyalty to Princess Melita Bonaparte.  They each begged for more holidays to work without pay.  The Princess told them that a grateful nation will reward enough.  They were clearly elated by her Imperial presence.

The Imperial Police Protection Force, a branch of the Napoleonic League, express their Eternal Loyalty to Princess Melita Bonaparte. They each begged for more holidays to work without pay. The Princess told them that a grateful nation will reward enough. They were clearly elated by her Imperial presence.

Princess Melita Bonaparte-A Star Without Makeup!

Much to her humiliation & horror, just the thing worst nightmare that could ever befall a star of this magnitude, caught reading an eye-level, grocery store magazine WITHOUT makeup.

This is the sort of thing that will land her in that Betty Place–and drain all her assets. When they close, will someone stay there to help her heat up a Swanson TV dinner, or will it just be lights out & hit the pavement?

Stay tuned–but let us hope that <a href="http://http://www.elizabetharden.com/&quot; title="Elizabeth Arden Emergency Room”>Elizabeth Arden has her Emergency Room open for the wayward Bonaparte Princess….

Notice the halo over the head of Princess Melita Bonaparte.  When questioned about this, she replied, "Just like Nixon, they can't take my halo from me, they may take my makeup, but they can't take my halo.  I earned it!"

Notice the halo over the head of Princess Melita Bonaparte. When questioned about this, she replied, “Just like Nixon, they can’t take my halo from me, they may take my makeup, but they can’t take my halo. I earned it!” There seems to be a Checkers Speech for every occasion these days.

For more information about how to be totally happy & beautiful—
http://www.star-magazine.co.uk/home/

Bonaparte Princess Caught Without Makeup In State of Horror

Few know that Horror is about to become the 51st State. It’s a state of mind, but the Federal Government can count on the IRS to generate revenue whether the state is a State or a state. It will be famous for it’s Gertrude Stein: Princess Melita Bonaparte, without make up, being horrified by others in the same, uh, state, uh, condition.

Keeping in mind the state she is usually in, it’s no surprise that eye-level shopping leads to eye level reading.

A halo over her unmade face, reveals the real Melita Bonaparte--her perpetual state of astonishment is Horror, about to become the 51st State.

A halo over her unmade face, reveals the real Melita Bonaparte–her perpetual state of astonishment is Horror, about to become the 51st State.

Horror–Red or Blue? You can put on lots of make-up no matter how others in Horror see it. Just do what you want, and let the Horror show go on! Remember Star magazine is number one for celebrity news, just not cerebral news. Get your copy now!

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