“I DEMAND TOTAL SILENCE FROM THE QUIET ONES”–Princess Melita Bonaparte

“Noise. Noise. Noise. Everyone makes noise, but no one says anything,” grumped Princess Melita Bonaparte. I heard too much noise today & am in a bad mood. If I am in a bad mood, you need to go into hiding!”

With that, we see that Mt. Vesuvius has put us on notice.

But wait, there’s hope. Her Imperial Highness had a photo-shoot today, and nothing pleases her or calms her down like the flash of light that comes from “Just one more, please, Your Highness.” Her mood lifted considerably. And she permitted Easter to be celebrated.

But, be careful! This happy time might not last too long. She thought she was going to get the part, and that the photo-shoot was being done to announce her being cast in the about-to-be shown film. How can we approach her & tell her that this is another done deal?

Who is willing to die for art?

Poster for The Quiet Ones @ Market/Church Street MUNI Stations, San Francisco.  How do we tell Her Imperial Highness that she did not get the part?

Poster for The Quiet Ones @ Market/Church Street MUNI Stations, San Francisco. How do we tell Her Imperial Highness that she did not get the part?


You Tube From The Quiet Ones

Princess Melita Bonaparte is in a snit. “They clearly indicate that this is based upon real events. The real events were taken directly from my childhood. And I remember when college professors thought it their duty to smoke all during their classes,” coughed the despairing Princess.

“Let me show you who should have been cast in the lead role.”–Princess Melita

"Now, can there be any doubt that I was entitled by my training to play this part?"--Princess Melita Bonaparte

“Now, can there be any doubt that I was entitled by my training to play this part?”–Princess Melita Bonaparte

“I die for art every time a part that should go to me is given to someone else.”–Princess Melita Bonaparte. Her surname seems to make more sense as time goes on…

"My torments in this life can only add more to any role I play," said the Princess

“My torments in this life can only add more to any role I play,” said the Princess

Princess Melita Bonaparte: “I bring real horror to life, and live it on a daily basis.”

"I invent google glasses & they take that away from me. I pick up trash from the streets, and they accuse me of being the one littering.  They take & take & take--I can only suffer..Someday, the Greek government will thank me for my efforts in Restoration of their Monarchy!  Till then, I die for my art."

“I invent google glasses & they take that away from me. I pick up trash from the streets, and they accuse me of being the one littering. They take & take & take–I can only suffer..Someday, the Greek government will thank me for my efforts in Restoration of their Monarchy! Till then, I die for my art.”

MUPPETS “MOST WANTED” Original Standee & Newly Updated

The newest addition to my active vocabulary is ‘standee.’ In the film world standees (pluralform) are the generally oversized, free-standing photographic (and sometimes accessory-laden) promotional items that serve to advertise films @ the multiplex theatres. AMC 1000 Van Ness Avenue in San Francisco is one such venue. I imagine that some film festivals of newly released “A List” motion pictures have them. Some of them may be filtered down to some repertory houses that might have room for them.

By the grace of a horror film–so January 2014 of me-Paranormal Activities: The Marked Ones, I have become enchanted with them. I see these items as having potential for collectors, those with the green stuff & the space, and those of us who have a particular interest in one or two items. Other possibilities for re-use could include schools, kindergartens-even the opposite end of the age spectrum, assisted living facilities, might be good repositories for some items. It would be a valid re-use, and provide a charming, if somewhat temporary second home for some of them. It would be nice to see the studios engage in some planning that would prolong the shelf-life of these items. Tossing them into the dumpster is just another symptom of American waste.

The Original “Standee” for the upcoming Muppets Film MOST WANTED

This is the original version of the Disney Muppets film standee for Most Wanted.  Here you can see the image of the ever brilliant Tina Fey.

This is the original version of the Disney Muppets film standee for Most Wanted. Here, you can see the image of the ever-brilliant Tina Fey.


At the very least, the theatre chains could at least keep them up whilst the films are still showing. It seems to brutal of the managers to toss this art-form into the dumpster in such a premature fashion.

After slight editing, there may be two characters you may have seen before?

Alas, Tina Fey was headed out by Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte.  Also, Captain Spaulding makes an appearance.  Beneath him lurks Princess Melita's Twin Brother, Prince Roland Bonaparte II.   They got their heads together @ 1000 Van Ness Avenue, San Francisco.  Keeping your head off my shoulders allowed me to photograph these.  Usually, it's due to the 'kindness of strangers.'

Alas, Tina Fey was headed out by Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte. Also, Captain Spaulding makes an appearance. Beneath him lurks Princess Melita’s Twin Brother, Prince Roland Bonaparte II. They got their heads together @ 1000 Van Ness Avenue, San Francisco. Keeping your head off my shoulders allowed me to photograph these. Usually, it’s due to the ‘kindness of strangers.’


YOU TUBE TRAILER FOR THE MUPPETS: MOST WANTED

The Muppets have been around for a very long time & have engaged some of the most talented humans of their era.

Captain Spaulding Look-alike Ranks Up Ladder of Success!

Now Captain Spaulding, like his counterpart, Princess Melita Bonaparte, is taking over America–He is just like a stealth bomb–wants all the tax money & none of the bother. “I don’t want to have to work for a living, I don’t go ’round putting rubber chemicals in bread, and I don’t take dogs inside of restaurants, hospitals, or welfare agencies, so why shouldn’t I get all the money & fame I want?” He pouts like this all the time, and the best thing is just to run the opposite direction when you see him posing in front of pre-dumpster disposal art. But look how wonderful those doomed displays are! That must be part of the poetry of pre-Dumpster detritus. It’s splendid one day & rotting in AMC Dumpsters the very next day! Captain Spaulding is joining forces with Princess Melita Bonaparte in an effort to protect this highly dismissed & unprotected legacy of our culture.

“I just want Paramount to stop calling me about my car. I don’t have a car. Put me in a blockbuster film, and everyone will be happy as a foot long Subway sandwich!”

If only Captain Spaulding would stop digressing & write a dissertation about this art work not being taken seriously by the film industry, maybe he’d get a trip to Stockholm out of the deal, and Princess Melita Bonaparte would get her grave back & she could haunt it happily ever after.

We just have to clam up on that one. It looks as if someone glued a Subway Footlong on Captain Spaulding’s head & he didn’t get it. Poor thing!

If you can’t get Captain Spaulding’s look-alike out of your mind, contact Paramount Studios. Tell them to bring back the Studio System, give him a ten picture contract & all will be well with the world.

A VOTE FOR CAPTAIN SPAULDING LOOK-ALIKE IS A VOTE FOR AMERICA!

This Captain Spaulding look-alike may creep you out, but he is the hope of America & for a world United against taking cinema promotional art & sticking in into a dumpster.  "No more Dumpster Babies made of cardboard," he implores.  Call Paramount-put me in pictures!"

This Captain Spaulding look-alike may creep you out, but he is the hope of America & for a world United against taking cinema promotional art & sticking in into a dumpster. “No more Dumpster Babies made of cardboard,” he implores. “Call Paramount-put me in pictures!”

Let us do everything we can to help Captain America!

Here is proof that the Captain Spaulding look-alike does his part to help Captain America!

"If I can't get into pictures, I'll answer the want ads," says the Captain Spaulding Look-alike. "I just want to do my part for Captain America."

“If I can’t get into pictures, I’ll answer the want ads,” says the Captain Spaulding Look-alike. “I just want to do my part for Captain America.”

CAPTAIN SPAULDING IS MORE THAN A CARDBOARD DECORATION WAITING TO BE DUMPED!

Can you help Captain Spaulding stand up for Film Promotional Art?  Can you keep him from ending in the Dumpster @ 1000 Van Ness Avenue?  Can  film promotional art be saved?  Maybe the Greek Monarchy can help us?

Can you help Captain Spaulding stand up for Film Promotional Art? Can you keep him from ending up rotting in the Dumpster @ 1000 Van Ness Avenue? Can film promotional art be saved? Maybe the Greek Monarchy can help us?

Site of the Missing Grave For Paranormal activities–gone, gone, gone

Site of the missing grave for Paranormal Activities--taken away before the film had even completed its theatrical release & tossed in the dumpster!  What a loss for film fans!

Site of the missing grave for Paranormal Activities–taken away before the film had even completed its theatrical release & tossed in the dumpster! What a loss for film fans!


Captain Spaulding was created by Rob Zombie, who makes films. His look-a-like wears a costume courtesy of Spirit Halloween Costume Stores, and his graven image is due to the technology of Dreambox.

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