Some People Are Just So Picky!

There are people in the world who don’t want to share their most delicious food with anyone! It’s so discouraging. Those little tykes did not hurt her, not one bit! They were full of love & so innocent! Let us all go to a French bakery & pretend just like it was in the film, “I’ll have what she’s having.”

Maggots can be such sweet & lovely creatures. You can get them free with any croissant order. Now, if you don’t want all the extras that go with a croissant, and you wish France would restore their Monarchy, then order a sandwich. You don’t get anything extra in a sandwich, unless you pay more money for it. So, you will only get two slices of bread, and no maggots, and nothing else. If you want mayonnaise, that’s $5.00 extra, so is one tiny pickle slice. One paper-thin slice of meat will take a bank loan.
In San Francisco, we can’t even consider getting free maggots. If you asked for maggots on a sandwich, the person who takes your order, would be pressing one of those secret buttons under the counter, and an entire #SanFranciscoPoliceDepartment #SWATTeam would be on site within seconds. No, you can’t get free maggots in San Francisco. Everything costs extra!

YOU TUBE SHOWING SPECIAL GUEST STARS IN A WONDERFUL CROISSANT! THEY WERE FREE!

Now, didn’t that just make your mouth water & get things going for your preparation for Halloween 2014? Of course, it did. Don’t try to claim that you would take this back & make all kinds of silly complaints. You have not seen the extra thick milkshakes yet.

Unless this leads to a national outcry, and that 5th Republic goes away with all those annoying politicians, this would be a good time to Restore the French Monarchy. The slogan will be perfect for all those picky eaters: MONARCHY WITHOUT MAGGOTS!

There, how one You Tube can complete the French Revolution, and go back 360 degrees to the way it was always supposed to be!

Bon appetit

Princess Melita Bonaparte Lap Dances Way To Infamy

Her Imperial Highness, not at all to our surprise, has sunk to a new low. She now adds #LAPDANCING to her resume, and is not in the least ashamed of it.

What good is Royalty anyway, if they, at the very least, can’t act “Royal?” The Bonaparte Princess of the Imperial line has the audacity to be ‘in negotiations’ with the government of Serbia, in an effort to ‘offer her services’ as their first #QueenRegnant.

In her spare time, she lap dances, shamelessly, upsetting the social order. The most recent Lap Dance caper was pulled just last night @ Fork Cafe, 469 Castro Street. She was supposed to be there to honour Julie Newmar, not to promote her own laughable & pathetic career. Here we have proof that she knocked food from the Laps of Patrons & gave them her unasked-for version of a Lap Dance. Now, we understand why Peaches Christ has refused to consider her for SHOWGIRLS. The resulting photograph shows how low a person can go when entering the VALLEY OF THE DOLLS. The poor guests who had expected to be there to meet & greet the stars of SIXTEEN CANDLES & JULIE NEWMAR, were subjected to filth from Princess Melita Bonaparte. Today, she is expected to reprise her silly role as “THE HOT COP OF THE CASTRO”–it’s always at the expense of someone else, she pulls her capers.

Unroyally employed as a NON-UNION #LAPDANCER, Princess Melita Bonaparte not only brings disgrace to the House of Bonaparte & all other Royal Families, but takes away job opportunities from those who have trained diligently with such renowned institutions such as the San Francisco Ballet for the few #Lapdance jobs that are left.  "I don't care, I deserve to have fun, " was all the Princess would say when asked by reporting staff to justify her undignified behaviour.

Unroyally employed as a NON-UNION #LAPDANCER, Princess Melita Bonaparte not only brings disgrace to the House of Bonaparte & all other Royal Families, but takes away job opportunities from those who have trained diligently with such renowned institutions such as the San Francisco Ballet for the few #Lapdance jobs that are left. “I don’t care, I deserve to have fun,” was all the Princess would say when asked by reporting staff to justify her undignified behaviour.

INSTAGRAM DOES NOT LIKE THIS JEWELRY!

We are tougher than the Marines & we are ready for action!  Thanks to William Lustig & JesseHawthorneFicks--We are MANiAC COPS!

We are tougher than the Marines & we are ready for action! Thanks to William Lustig & JesseHawthorneFicks–We are MANiAC COPS! Princess Melita Bonaparte, the most beautiful woman in the world, is passionately committed to doing the work that only #ManiacCops can do, & has volunteer to arrest people for breathing, or if they just look suspicious.

So, I will post it the old way. I have a new set of bracelets just for #JessieHawthorneFicks & #WilliamLustig ….They are my Tiffany Specials. There seems to a need, per the news papers for new cops. Well, will be out there in force–all the #ManicacCops you could ever possibly need. We got to keep order in this town, you know! See us tomorrow @ the #YerbaBuenaCenter! Be there yourself, if you know what’s good for you!

INSTAGRAM FAILS TO DELIVER & SO DOES CHRONICLE!

Instead of a newspaper vending machine, we have a casino & the house always wins.  INSTAGRAM seems to take exception to public service announcements.  So, here is yet another attempt to warn people not to lose their money with a rigged machine.

Instead of a newspaper vending machine, we have a casino & the house always wins. INSTAGRAM seems to take exception to public service announcements. So, here is yet another attempt to warn people not to lose their money with a rigged machine.

YESTERDAY, I TRIED TO USE THIS ‘VENDING’ MACHINE TO BUY AN EXTRA COPY OF THE SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE. MY INTENTION WAS TO OBTAIN AN EXTRA COPY TO SEND TO MY BROTHER & HIS WIFE IN PHOENIX. I THOUGHT THEY WOULD LIKE TO HAVE THIS. THE MACHINE ATE FOUR QUARTERS, BUT THE DOOR TO IT WOULD NOT OPEN, IT YIELDED NAUGHT.

I CALLED THE MAIN SWITCHBOARD NUMBER OF THE SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE, AND LEFT A MESSAGE. THE NUMBER THAT I CALLED, 415-777-1111.

I TRIED TO POST A COPY OF THIS MACHINE WITH A DESCRIPTION OF WHAT HAPPENED ON INSTAGRAM, AFTER GIVING THE NEWSPAPER A FAIR AMOUNT OF TIME TO RESPOND. IT SEEMS THAT INSTAGRAM CENSORED MY PHOTOGRAPH & COMMENTS. THE COMMENTS WERE FACTUAL, NOT A WORD OF IMPROPER OR ABUSIVE LANGUAGE. IT SEEMS THAT IT’S TOO WEIRD OF AN EVENT TO BE MERE CHANCE, BUT ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

THE MACHINE TO AVOID IS LOCATED NEAR THE CORNER OF HOWARD & 9th STREETS. THE SIMPLEST SOLUTION FOR THOSE WHO FREQUENT THAT AREA IS TO BUY THEIR COPY OF THE SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE IN A CONVENIENCE STORE. IT IS CLEAR THAT THE MACHINES ARE NOT HONESTLY OPERATED.

I DO REMEMBER A FEW YEARS AGO SEEING SOMEONE TAKE A SMALL METAL OBJECT & EMPTY THE MACHINE THAT WAS IN THAT SAME LOCATION OF IT’S MONEY. ‘TIS A SHAME, BUT THEY DON’T RETURN CALLS, SO CUSTOMER SERVICE IS CLEARLY NOT A VALUE.

AND THE FAILURE OF INSTAGRAM IS JUST PLAIN BEWILDERING. I THOUGHT IT WAS FOR INSTANT SHARING OF IDEAS, NEWS, ETC.

HOW DO YOU SPELL S-T-U-P-I-D???

Today, rumour has it, more than 300 MUNI Drivers called in sick. Is SEIU part of the spelling bee?

This was a total calamity, a particularly nasty act–just the kind of thing inept middle managers do to get even with people they don’t like. Doing harm, and this was harm, does no one any good. All it did was make people very angry & even more frustrated with MUNI than ever before.

In a moribund system like this, all that’s missing is the embalming fluid.

Here is an idea I got from the Internet that might help MUNI out, but we would need at least one person willing to drive!

Here is an idea I got from the Internet that might help MUNI out, but we would need at least one person willing to drive!

Come to think of it, this was a huge public relations miss for all those white, sleek, techie buses that have multiplied like gerbils during the last couple of years. Had they been more Pubic Relations savvy, their managers would have jumped up, called in all their drivers, and given the transit-abandoned people a gratis lift. It would have made good business sense.

This whole MUNI thing got me into a foul mood. I felt sort of underrated & overlooked by a nasty transportation system.

This whole MUNI thing got me into a foul mood. I felt sort of underrated & overlooked by a nasty transportation system.

DO YOU LIKE HORROR STORIES?

This is supposed to be a MUNI bus stop, located @ Laguna Honda.  In reality, it's a fetid toilet.  No 'Saniflush' going on here!

This is supposed to be a MUNI bus stop, located @ Laguna Honda. In reality, it’s a fetid toilet. No ‘Saniflush’ going on here!

I think we get the message loud & clear, passengers don't count for a damned thing, not at all!  Shame on MUNI & SEIU!!!

I think we get the message loud & clear, passengers don’t count for a damned thing, not at all! Shame on MUNI & SEIU!!!

WHEN YOU SEE THIS SIGN, BELIEVE IT!

Now you know, without doubt, per MUNI--Sick Days Are A RIGHT!

Now you know, without doubt, per MUNI–Sick Days Are A RIGHT!

If You Want To Be Cool–Be Ready To Die For It! Slit your own throat! Do it! Not if you are under 18.

I think Desi Arnaz was the one who came up with syndication. It’s a good idea, you can reuse & recycle. You can gain a sort of useless form of immortality. Why, if you come up with a terrific idea, your intellectual property can sort of rule the world.

That’s just what we did here. Be different. Put off quitting smoking. Put off buying a cell phone upgrade. Put off fixing a leaking roof.

Just put off everything, except the IRS. That idea would be really bad, expensive. You don’t want that.

So, get ready, take that first puff–do it slowly, and put it off as long as you can, before you slit your throat.

If you are under 18, ask parental permission to get fake blood, and make sure you clean up the floor after it’s over–THERE WILL BE FAKE BLOOD!

CLICK & DRAG THAT FIRST CIGARETTE THAT YOU WANTED TO DO WHEN IN 4th GRADE…

…BUT WERE AFRAID YOU’D GET IN TROUBLE IN SCHOOL FOR SLITTING YOUR OWN THROAT!

How A Purse Slides Away & How You Can Prevent This Theft

In San Francisco, “Sliders” are miniature hamburger sandwiches. In the rest of the country, where you don’t have public transit, you have sliders that are candidates for being Vampire Academy graduates. They look for hosts, but it’s clear they don’t have to look very hard or very far. This did not used to happen when an attendant filled your gasoline tank, checked the air in your tires, and cleaned your automobile windshields. But what I am talking about here? Greece had a Monarchy back in those days.

HERE IT IS–TAKE THE LESSON & RUN–KEEP YOUR BELONGINGS IN SIGHT!

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