Princess Melita Bonaparte: The New Hot Cop of The Castro

The soon-to-be released motion picture about Officer Chris Kohr, The Hot Cop of the Castro will be played by Her Imperial Highness, Princess Melita Bonaparte. Princess Melita did a screen test today, and it went far beyond expectations. “Of course, I cannot divulge much information at this time, but I am so very excited to be offered the part…it was a joy that Paramount employees were not calling me asking about my car!” enthused the ebullient Princess.

When asked about playing the part of a man, she replied, “I am a natural, just like Marlene Dietrich was. Who else has the versatility to play so many interesting roles?”

At that, we let it rest. But she insisted, “I will at last get the Oscar for this part, I deserve it.”

So, to the world out there hungry for any celebrity news, this is the latest.

Princess Melita Bonaparte, of the Imperial Line, will play a San Francisco Police Officer–and the name of the film we asked. The Princess responded, “IN THE ORANGE LINE OF DUTY.” We think Lasse Hallström has agreed to direct. But we forgot to ask him. We hope that The Castro Theatre will premiere it for us.

Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte is ecstatic to be cast in the newest biopic soon-to-be released (as soon as they come up with a script & director) IN THE ORANGE LINE OF DUTY-about the trials of being officer Chris Kohr, and the transition from being unknown to becoming an international icon.  The part was tailor made for the Bonaparte Princess.

Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte is ecstatic to be cast in the newest biopic soon-to-be released (as soon as they come up with a script & director) IN THE ORANGE LINE OF DUTY-about the trials of being officer Chris Kohr, and the transition from being unknown to becoming an international icon. The part was tailor made for the Bonaparte Princess.

INSTAGRAM DOES NOT LIKE THIS JEWELRY!

We are tougher than the Marines & we are ready for action!  Thanks to William Lustig & JesseHawthorneFicks--We are MANiAC COPS!

We are tougher than the Marines & we are ready for action! Thanks to William Lustig & JesseHawthorneFicks–We are MANiAC COPS! Princess Melita Bonaparte, the most beautiful woman in the world, is passionately committed to doing the work that only #ManiacCops can do, & has volunteer to arrest people for breathing, or if they just look suspicious.

So, I will post it the old way. I have a new set of bracelets just for #JessieHawthorneFicks & #WilliamLustig ….They are my Tiffany Specials. There seems to a need, per the news papers for new cops. Well, will be out there in force–all the #ManicacCops you could ever possibly need. We got to keep order in this town, you know! See us tomorrow @ the #YerbaBuenaCenter! Be there yourself, if you know what’s good for you!

The True Fact: Princess Melita Bonaparte is ABOVE Such Problems

Common people have stink problems & Her Imperial Highness does see the need for government assistance, and has appealed to all Royal Houses of Europe, Africa, Asia, and Greenland to help those who stink.

“I know nothing of such matters, myself, but feel obligated to help those who do,” the Imperial Princess told us at press time.

“This might be the key to world peace, and I am willing to give it a try. Thus far, all other efforts have stank, and I think there ought to be a better way of doing business.” With that, we have now heard from Princess Melita Bonaparte.

Always ahead of the Game of Thrones, sound advise about smelly politics from one who is above such matters--Princess Melita Bonaparte, The Most Beautiful Woman in the World.

Always ahead of the Game of Thrones, sound advise about smelly politics from one who is above such matters–Princess Melita Bonaparte, The Most Beautiful Woman in the World.

And now, a word from Her Sponsors:

You Tube About How to Rid the World of Stink

Sweet, tiny, innocent worm…No One Likes Baby Worm-worm? Awwwhhh!

The most adorable & sweet baby worm & everyone wants to hurt the tiny thing! My sweet pet, I named it Moe Moe. Save The Worm Foundation Welcomes You, Moe Moe!

It won’t hate you. It won’t make promises it can’t keep. It won’t demand keys to the car every Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, … You have to see the love, feel the love….

You Tube of Beloved Moe Moe–Tiny, baby worm…..

BRICK MANSIONS–SITTING EMPTY

The death of actor Paul Walker was tragic & heart rending. He seemed to have evoke the quality of being “nice.” This is a trait that is often abandoned when a certain level of success is reached. Fame & fortune can mess things us up–both for those who have it, and for those who don’t. It can be an oil & water combination, one that might work on salad, but makes the streets of life way too slick for safe travel.

BRICK MANSIONS is an action film. I went understanding that this was not going to be any great competition for either William Shakespeare or Tennessee Williams. But I did have some hope that it might have some of the James Bond or Arnold Schwarzenegger deadpan one liners, or some irony that would serve a purpose. It did not. I can’t quite keep up with the linguistic eloquence of San Francisco Chronicle film critic Mick La Salle, but he got it right. It was one pointless fight scene after another. The man who played ‘the con’ (David Belle) came closest to being an interesting human. He had terrific looks, but, more importantly, he had a motivation, protecting his wife from harm. He was convincing, and that small touch of human interest was about the only thing I carried away with me once the closing credits started rolling. To nod off during an action film? Sure did. It was a sad way to say ‘Goodbye’ to one who had potential to expand to other areas. Being sealed into chase/fight scenes may be lucrative, but not memorable.

It was very decent & kind that the film editors did offer a visual Requiem for Paul Walker at the film’s end.

A symbol of hope for BRICK MANSIONS--both in Detroit, Michigan & Galena, Kansas.

A symbol of hope for BRICK MANSIONS–both in Detroit, Michigan & Galena, Kansas.



You Tube Trailer For BRICK MANSIONS

“I DEMAND TOTAL SILENCE FROM THE QUIET ONES”–Princess Melita Bonaparte

“Noise. Noise. Noise. Everyone makes noise, but no one says anything,” grumped Princess Melita Bonaparte. I heard too much noise today & am in a bad mood. If I am in a bad mood, you need to go into hiding!”

With that, we see that Mt. Vesuvius has put us on notice.

But wait, there’s hope. Her Imperial Highness had a photo-shoot today, and nothing pleases her or calms her down like the flash of light that comes from “Just one more, please, Your Highness.” Her mood lifted considerably. And she permitted Easter to be celebrated.

But, be careful! This happy time might not last too long. She thought she was going to get the part, and that the photo-shoot was being done to announce her being cast in the about-to-be shown film. How can we approach her & tell her that this is another done deal?

Who is willing to die for art?

Poster for The Quiet Ones @ Market/Church Street MUNI Stations, San Francisco.  How do we tell Her Imperial Highness that she did not get the part?

Poster for The Quiet Ones @ Market/Church Street MUNI Stations, San Francisco. How do we tell Her Imperial Highness that she did not get the part?


You Tube From The Quiet Ones

Princess Melita Bonaparte is in a snit. “They clearly indicate that this is based upon real events. The real events were taken directly from my childhood. And I remember when college professors thought it their duty to smoke all during their classes,” coughed the despairing Princess.

“Let me show you who should have been cast in the lead role.”–Princess Melita

"Now, can there be any doubt that I was entitled by my training to play this part?"--Princess Melita Bonaparte

“Now, can there be any doubt that I was entitled by my training to play this part?”–Princess Melita Bonaparte

“I die for art every time a part that should go to me is given to someone else.”–Princess Melita Bonaparte. Her surname seems to make more sense as time goes on…

"My torments in this life can only add more to any role I play," said the Princess

“My torments in this life can only add more to any role I play,” said the Princess

Princess Melita Bonaparte: “I bring real horror to life, and live it on a daily basis.”

"I invent google glasses & they take that away from me. I pick up trash from the streets, and they accuse me of being the one littering.  They take & take & take--I can only suffer..Someday, the Greek government will thank me for my efforts in Restoration of their Monarchy!  Till then, I die for my art."

“I invent google glasses & they take that away from me. I pick up trash from the streets, and they accuse me of being the one littering. They take & take & take–I can only suffer..Someday, the Greek government will thank me for my efforts in Restoration of their Monarchy! Till then, I die for my art.”

INVENTOR OF GOOGLE GLASSES PASSES CLASSES

The real inventor of google glasses is Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte. “I invent many things, and make up stuff as I go along. I can’t keep up with all my ideas, so I use my newest invention to take ideas from other people and call their ideas my ideas. It makes taking classes easier, and I get perfect scores on all my tests. It makes managing people easier. They do all of the work, I take credit when the work is good give free doses of Hell when the work is bad! I know that my Most Loyal Subjects like this. They are able to feel that they are part of the governing system. Plus they learn to play by my rules, which change constantly, so they never can be as smart as I am. I am always the smartest little girl in the room and I always have the last word. I am Royal over everybody and I plan to keep it that way. ”

The Princess explained the design process. “I had the lenses of the super glasses imported from The Netherlands, made by direct descendants of Antonie van Leeuwenhoek. That family always did what my family told them to do. This assured me of having the very best. I plan to take over the Dutch throne, but need time to resolve problems in Greece, Portugal, Egypt, Russia, and Italy, before going Dutch! With all this pressure, you can understand why I need to be able to tap into information at all times without appearing to be nosy. I am sort of my own James Bond film, just with fewer action scenes. I let doubles and body guards do all the scary stuff,” the Princess casually mentioned as of this writing. “People don’t want me to take needless risks. My subjects demand to be ruled with common sense. To that end, I must set high standards of safety. So, I can hardly be expected to do my own stunts.”
So, here they are: Goo-Goo Glasses. Sleekly designed so that no one will have a clue that there is a Royal spy in their midst. No place, public or private, will be able to escape detection. “It’s for their own safety. I am doing this for the people, to help them. It is for their own good,” huffed an indignant Melita. “How can anyone NOT like this perfect use of technology? It is for their protection. Everything I do is for the benefit of others.”

Princess Melita Bonaparte, fears that legal problems will get nasty as she continues to claim to be the inventor of google glasses.  I renamed them goo-goo glasses to keep it from being a nasty legal mess," she explained.

Princess Melita Bonaparte hopes to avoid legal problems as she continues to claim to be the inventor of google glasses. “I renamed them Goo-Goo Glasses to keep it from being a nasty, legal mess,” she explained.

Few Monarchs have invented themselves as well as new gadgets, the way Princess Melita Bonaparte has.  She remains constantly engaged in all forms of technology.

Few Monarchs have invented themselves as well as new gadgets, the way Princess Melita Bonaparte has. She remains constantly engaged in all forms of technology. She tells us that people will make passes at Royals in glasses.