A Cab Driver & A Nun-Mother Superior Vena Cava, OSF

MOTHER SUPERIOR VENA CAVA SHARES HER DARKEST SECRETS

Mother Superior Vena Cava makes a Confession & renews her vows.

Mother Superior Vena Cava makes a Confession & renews her vows.

A cab driver picks up a nun. She gets into the taxi, and the driver won’t stop staring @ her.

She asks him why is he staring & he replies, “Sister, I want to ask you something, but I don’t want to offend you.”

She answers, “My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you are as old as I am, and have been a nun for as long as I have, you get a chance to see & hear just about everything. I am not cloistered, as you can see. I am sure there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”

“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”

She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that: number one, you have to be single, and number two, you must be Catholic.”

The taxi driver is very excited & says, “Yes, I am single & I’m Catholic, too”

The nun says, “Okay, pull into the next alley,” He does & the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the taxi driver starts crying.

“My dear child, says the nun, Why are you crying?”

“Forgive me, Sister, but I have sinned. I lied. I must confess, I’m married & I’m Jewish.”

The nun says, “That’s okay. My name is Kevin & I’m on my way to a Halloween party.”

Some People Are Just So Picky!

There are people in the world who don’t want to share their most delicious food with anyone! It’s so discouraging. Those little tykes did not hurt her, not one bit! They were full of love & so innocent! Let us all go to a French bakery & pretend just like it was in the film, “I’ll have what she’s having.”

Maggots can be such sweet & lovely creatures. You can get them free with any croissant order. Now, if you don’t want all the extras that go with a croissant, and you wish France would restore their Monarchy, then order a sandwich. You don’t get anything extra in a sandwich, unless you pay more money for it. So, you will only get two slices of bread, and no maggots, and nothing else. If you want mayonnaise, that’s $5.00 extra, so is one tiny pickle slice. One paper-thin slice of meat will take a bank loan.
In San Francisco, we can’t even consider getting free maggots. If you asked for maggots on a sandwich, the person who takes your order, would be pressing one of those secret buttons under the counter, and an entire #SanFranciscoPoliceDepartment #SWATTeam would be on site within seconds. No, you can’t get free maggots in San Francisco. Everything costs extra!

YOU TUBE SHOWING SPECIAL GUEST STARS IN A WONDERFUL CROISSANT! THEY WERE FREE!

Now, didn’t that just make your mouth water & get things going for your preparation for Halloween 2014? Of course, it did. Don’t try to claim that you would take this back & make all kinds of silly complaints. You have not seen the extra thick milkshakes yet.

Unless this leads to a national outcry, and that 5th Republic goes away with all those annoying politicians, this would be a good time to Restore the French Monarchy. The slogan will be perfect for all those picky eaters: MONARCHY WITHOUT MAGGOTS!

There, how one You Tube can complete the French Revolution, and go back 360 degrees to the way it was always supposed to be!

Bon appetit

Lance Ellington –

He sang two songs as a starting act for Susan Boyle. He is a perfectionist as a performer, with style, musicianship, and a special charisma. I hope to see him again in San Francisco.

Bonaparte Passport Binge Bums Bureaucracy!

The function of a Passport is to create jobs for people who can’t work in the real world? Or is it to give permission to cross imaginary boarders legally, so that you can go to Constantinople & end up in jail there for doing what the locals do? You got me! But without a Passport, once I go to Constantinople (which is illegally called Istanbul), I can’t come back here.

Princess Melita Bonaparte explains that Passports were issued according to the Bible. I knew she’d say that. She claims to be kin to King Solomon. I looked it up in Wikipedia, and found out that what she said appears to be true. But she claims that Passports are now issued by Multiplex Cinemas & that’s how she got hers, by going to see films all the time & having them issue her a new Passport almost weekly. “I wanted to be able to go to every country in the world,” she said.

The Passport Office Staff were so fed up with the obvious (to them) document fraud, that one of them shot Princess Melita Bonaparte.  The passport office worker quit her job that very day, and is still on the lam.

The Passport Office Staff were so fed up with the obvious (to them) document fraud, that one of them shot Princess Melita Bonaparte The passport office worker quit her job that very day, and is still on the lam. [/caption
In English history, King Henry V issued the first Passport, and Princess Melita Bonaparte claims to have that in her possession, and uses this as proof that she SHOULD be the reigning Monarch of the United Kingdom. “I keep in touch will all world issues by reading People Magazine, the National Enquirer, and going to action films. This qualifies me to be far more suited to manage the country than any of those Bush people!” The Princess screamed this so loudly @ 3:00, that car alarms went off, and someone called the police. False Alarm.

[caption id="attachment_6126" align="aligncenter" width="460"]Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte actually thought that this #shareAMC #staycations was an authentic passport & went home, fiddled around, printed it, and tried to leave the country. Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, actually thought that this #shareAMC #staycations was an authentic passport & went home, fiddled around, printed it, and tried to leave the country.

She, of course, got caught…

What worked as a #Megamoviefan did not work as a form of legal identity.  #shareAMC tried to explain that they had no control of Princess Melita Bonaparte's affairs, foreign or domestic.

What worked as a #Megamoviefan did not work as a form of legal identity. #shareAMC tried to explain that they had no control of Princess Melita Bonaparte’s affairs, foreign or domestic.

The Imperial Princess really did think that she could have endless passports all over the world, due to her Imperial & Royal status.

Many will shake their heads with disbelief--but Princess Melita truly thought that #Maleficent was a country, same as #Transformers, #Godzilla.  For some reason, she did not have that level of confusion about #Spider-Man.  She thought he issued the Passport, and that it was a perfectly legal document.  Her response to being asked what was the reason she was making a trip to any given country, was to reply, "#staycation."

Many will shake their heads with disbelief–but Princess Melita truly thought that #Maleficent was a country, same as #Transformers, #Godzilla. For some reason, she did not have that level of confusion about #Spider-Man. She thought he issued the Passport, and that it was a perfectly legal document. Her response to being asked what was the reason she was making a trip to any given country, was to reply, “#staycation.”

The Bonaparte Princess got #staycation confused with the song made famous by singer #ConnieFrancis. We had to include a video, to show her the difference in spelling!

The Bonaparte Princess was so in love with #Spider-Man, that she thought she could get away with claiming that they were married.  It did not work, as Spider-Man ripped off her mask, to protect his legal rights from being compromised. It created much tension between France & USA.

The Bonaparte Princess was so deeply in love with #Spider-Man, that she thought she could get away with claiming that they were married. It did not work, as Spider-Man ripped off her mask, to protect his legal rights from being compromised. It created much tension between France & USA.

kookoko
kokok

After Spider-Man drew his line in the sand (or webbed her out of his life), Princess Melita Bonaparte turned to #Hercules for help.  By that time she was in a state of desperation, having violated all the #Anti-Hapsburg laws in #Austria.  She had no where to go.

After Spider-Man drew his line in the sand (or webbed her out of his life), Princess Melita Bonaparte turned to #Hercules for help. By that time she was in a state of desperation, having violated all the #Anti-Hapsburg laws in #Austria. She had no where else to go. No #ViennaSauges for the Princess.

koko
koko

Her last attempt @ Passport fraud was having her twin brother, Prince Roland Bonaparte II (better known as #CaptainSpaulding), pose for her. Her thinking was that no one would be able to tell the difference!  This attempt almost worked, airport security let her get through.  It was not till she got out the gin & had too  much, that she gave herself away!

Her last solo attempt @ Passport fraud was having her twin brother, Prince Roland Bonaparte II (better known as #CaptainSpaulding) pose for her. Her thinking was that no one would be able to tell the difference! This attempt almost worked, airport security let her get through. It was not till she got out the gin & had too much, that she gave herself away!

One of her other relatives (who prefers not to be identified, because he actually still has a Throne) got her a “Passport” that passed.

#Rumourhasit that the recent abdication of His Majesty, The King of Spain, was traced to his illegal effort to help his cousin Princess Melita Bonparte, obtain this illegal, but much more professional looking Passport.  We hope that she does not end up wearing an orange jump suit, unless it comes from the House of Versace.

#Rumourhasit that the recent abdication of His Majesty, The King of Spain, was traced to his illegal effort to help his cousin, Princess Melita Bonparte, obtain this illegal, but much more professional looking Passport. We hope that she does not end up wearing an orange jump suit, unless it comes from the House of Versace.

We were saddened to learn of the Abdication of His Majesty, King Juan Carlos of Spain. We were stunned to learn that it was because of his efforts to help his befuddled cousin gain access to Greece to help in the Restoration of their Monarchy.

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