Captain Spaulding Disguise Secret Revealed!

Beneath the disguise of Captain Spaulding, is Prince Roland Bonaparte II, brother & arch-rival to Princess Melita Bonaparte. His Imperial Highness, Prince Roland, has kept a low profile, mostly auditioning for inconspicuous ‘extra’ work @ Paramount Studios.

He was threatened by a metermaid, he claims–but we really think he wanted to cut a piece of pie, while distracting the staff of The Green Chile Kitchette on Church Street. He is begging to be a spokesman for the PIE shack, or even for laundry detergent.

He thought that no one would ever spot him in this disguise, that he could be left alone, anonymous. Such was not to be.

A vanilla milkshake for Captain Spaulding, in real life, Prince Roland Bonaparte II.

A vanilla milkshake for Captain Spaulding, in real life, Prince Roland Bonaparte II.

Captain Spaulding (in reality His Imperial Highness, Prince Roland Bonaparte II) stalking Princess Melita Bonaparte who, once again, auditioned for a part that had already been cast.  She will never learn--but we can well understand her terror of Prince Roland!

Captain Spaulding (in reality His Imperial Highness, Prince Roland Bonaparte) stalking Princess Melita Bonaparte who, once again, auditioned
for a part that had already been cast. She will never learn–but we can well understand her terror of Prince Roland!


Photograph of Prince Roland Bonaparte II as Captain Spaulding by Carmen Patron

Dia de los Muertos–2 November 2013

This has been long-held tradition that has only recently been given appropriate space & attention by the San Francisco community at large. It has finally come to be seen as something that is for everyone. I attended my first procession three years ago. After returning home, I understood that I had missed a lot by not paying more attention to what is so nearby & so very available, if you just take a moment to see it.

This is my very first altar dedicated to Dia de los Muertos--from Corona Heights with love!

This is my very first altar dedicated to Dia de los Muertos–from Corona Heights with love!

I do hope for the next year’s Dia de los Muertos that website & poster designs will use the day-month-year format. It is more in keeping with correct usage with the Spanish language. Additionally, this format looks better, and follows the logic in keeping time–staring from the smaller unit (day) to the larger unit (year), making a complete circle. The way American usage has evolved symbolically disrupts the natural flow of things. Perhaps, there’s a message of thought change that is embedded in this concept?

If you look, you will see Edith Massey (it is a framed post card actually written to me by John Waters–and no, I am NOT kidding!-he sent it to acknowledge a horrible crime story from the Los Angeles Times I sent to him about a person who set a taxi-cab driver on fire!). You will also see my beloved Princess Melba Bonaparte, who calls herself Peaches Christ. Jesus, I am so glad Mrs Christ took her! Then, there is a drawing of Her Imperial Highness, The Princess Melita Bonaparte, in a cheesy, plastic frame I found in pieces on a parked car that had a ticket on it. I used Gorilla Glue, and put the frame all back together, and it was perfect for the Perpetually Exiled Imperial Bonaparte. Please notice, the programme from the fabulosa CARRIE: The Musical! That was an entirely different spin of the bottle for that story, it took the subject matter very seriously & I was impressed with the quality of the performance & just wanted to take the mother home with me, to make me put my Office clutter in order, after a prayer session! The tank top draped over the lamp is from San Franpsycho, a store on Divisadero that deserves your Death Cult Dollars! The book, I Yelped loud & long about the rudeness of the staff of that store: Loved To Death–they need to read up everything Miss Manners has ever written. The name of that book (get it online, prevent storekeeper bullying!) is Heavenly Bodies–more about that later–by Paul Koudounaris. It’s a keeper, but the store needs new managers. So spend your Death Cult Dollars someplace else! See you Saturday! The dead don’t like rude staff people, and they have their ways…

Bonaparte Princess Caught Without Makeup In State of Horror

Few know that Horror is about to become the 51st State. It’s a state of mind, but the Federal Government can count on the IRS to generate revenue whether the state is a State or a state. It will be famous for it’s Gertrude Stein: Princess Melita Bonaparte, without make up, being horrified by others in the same, uh, state, uh, condition.

Keeping in mind the state she is usually in, it’s no surprise that eye-level shopping leads to eye level reading.

A halo over her unmade face, reveals the real Melita Bonaparte--her perpetual state of astonishment is Horror, about to become the 51st State.

A halo over her unmade face, reveals the real Melita Bonaparte–her perpetual state of astonishment is Horror, about to become the 51st State.

Horror–Red or Blue? You can put on lots of make-up no matter how others in Horror see it. Just do what you want, and let the Horror show go on! Remember Star magazine is number one for celebrity news, just not cerebral news. Get your copy now!

Murder(S) In My Apartment–! 911!!!!!! Am I Next?

Someone was holding my hand! Shots rang out in the dark & I heard tires peeling off rubber, the squeal deal & not a uniform in sight. No, the police won’t come to my Grey Gardens–the corpse disappeared–or stuffed into a dumpster. All that is left are clues that it happened. The knife, intended for pies, went for a throat. A movie theatre ticket, proof of some connection, but what? What happened here? What was the motivation? A Dorothy Malone autograph, maybe?

You don’t leave a bloody knife in plain sight with a label, not unless you are trying to plant evidence to fool the county appointed investigator. It looks like the Court tagged the evidence before charging anyone with the crime.

BIRTH OF A PARK BENCH MURDER–MURDER, HE PAINTED?

A heinous crime on Corona Heights--reaching to the very inner sanctum of the highest ranking member of the Bonaparte Family.

A heinous crime on Corona Heights–reaching to the very inner sanctum of the highest ranking member of the Bonaparte Family.

Not a drop of the precious distilled spirits seemed to be touched, but what of the ticket, to where?  Was this meant as a warning?

Not a drop of the precious distilled spirits seemed to be touched, but what of the ticket, to where? Was this meant as a warning?

And the casually tossed newspaper–what was this person reading? Or, is this just something else to throw investigative journalism into a state of shambles? The only person who might know isn’t saying a word, at least not about this: Princess Melita Bonaparte.

What makes Super Duper Burgers Special?

In a world where fast food means Subway, McDonald’s, Burger King, Taco Bell, along with mega stores, Walmart & Target, where is the market for mid-range? How is it discovered & why & how does it seem to be thriving?

Super Duper:  is clever marketing making this work, or is it a better product?

Super Duper: is clever marketing making this work, or is it a better product?

Super Duper Burger seems to be the J. Crew of the fast food hamburger world, placing emphasis on a slightly ‘retro’ look & feel. Their marketing image is showcasing their products to be almost like home cooked. Signs, designed in a late 19th Century style draw attention to key marketing words such as ‘organic,’ ‘homemade.’ Even the buns have been designated as something a notch above the ordinary. It seems as if the creators of this business have, via intuition, latched on to the idea that people need places to go for a quick meal that does not have to taste nor feel as if it came from a food factory. I think this is the key to their success.

The pickles are not like those you find in Safeway or in other fast food restaurants.  There is a freshness about them.  They are an option, you get them yourself, if you want them, less salty, less sweet than what you might expect.

The pickles are not like those you find in Safeway or in other fast food restaurants. There is a freshness about them. They are an option, you get them yourself, if you want them, less salty, less sweet than what you might expect.

'Organic' is the word used to promote their soft serve ice cream.  Dairy Queen, take note!

‘Organic’ is the word used to promote their soft serve ice cream. Dairy Queen & all other Royalty take note!

Here is the Grand Prize: Super Duper Burger With Fries & Homemade Pickles!

The menu indicates that the burgers are cooked 'medium.' But they will depart & you can have yours well-done, if you ask.  It was very well cooked, not greasy--fries needed to be a tad warmer, but they were still nice.  And pickles are optional. If wanted, they are on a side counter.

The menu indicates that the burgers are cooked ‘medium.’ But they will depart & you can have yours well-done, if you ask. It was very well cooked, not greasy–fries needed to be a tad warmer, but they were still nice. And pickles are optional. If wanted, they are on a side counter.

For desert? Unable to make up your mind? Just try it all!

What to do when comparison shopping?  Do it all!

What to do when comparison shopping? Do it all!

This is a very nice customer service touch: They know their clientèle fits into two basic categories, both of whom tend to carry backpacks–those who dwell in San Francisco & those who are here as tourists! The hooks provided for backpacks are one of the best ideas I have seen in a restaurant!

Minimize clutter & space problems:  Super Duper has done it right! Hang your bag & enjoy your meal!

Minimize clutter & space problems: Super Duper has done it right! Hang your bag & enjoy your meal!

How to be hooked on Super Duper--detail of back pack hook device.

How to be hooked on Super Duper–detail of back pack hook device.

There was no need to go all the way to Elba to find a a glowing organic soft serve ice cream cone. Super Duper Burgers has them.

Organic ice cream takes on the air of mysticism, as Princess Melita Bonaparte, Imperial heir apparent, glows in her appreciation.

Organic, soft-serve ice cream takes on the air of mysticism, as Princess Melita Bonaparte, Imperial heir apparent, glows in her appreciation.

Rita Hayworth and Her Dance

Very little need for anything to be added–This is a loving tribute to a wonderfully talented & woefully under appreciated film star–the dancer who became Rita Hayworth! Splendid video choices! Enjoy! This is a treasure!

Backlots

By Lara Gabrielle Fowler

Today marks what would have been the 95th birthday of Rita Hayworth, the legendary screen goddess best known today for her seductive portrayal of Gilda in the 1946 film of the same name. Beautiful, long-legged, and mysterious, she was Columbia’s biggest star of the 1940’s and became a pin-up girl during the war years with a popularity rivaling that of Betty Grable. Her popularity as a sex symbol became so overwhelming that many lost sight of exactly who she was, and from whence she had come. As with the vast majority of sex symbols, she became objectified, and her career prior to her 1946 portrayal of Gilda was almost completely forgotten and her background washed away. The sex symbol image bothered her. “I’ve never really thought of myself as a sex symbol,” Hayworth once said, “more as a comedienne who could dance.” Today, on her birthday, I…

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Old People Haunt Corner Mom & Pop Grocery/Deli Store! Extra, Read All About It!

Old People are not leaving this corner in San Francisco any time soon! They are part of the culture of disappearing print magazines & they won’t go!

Old People Haunt San Francisco Corner--it's old People magazines collected by the store and/or donated by supporters of the store.  A charming find in a charming City!

Old People Haunt San Francisco Corner–it’s old People Magazines collected by the store and/or donated by supporters of the store. A charming find in a charming City!

300 Church Street Groceteria--a lovely collection of Old People have made it home--it's really a lovely touch by the store, adding to the feeling of being connected by "old" magazines, illustrating how fleeting time is & how fast it marches on...

300 Church Street Groceteria in San Francisco–a lovely collection of Old People have made it home–it’s really a lovely touch by the store, adding to the feeling of being connected by “old” magazines, illustrating how fleeting time is & how fast it marches on…

They also have several nice reviews on Yelp about their deli sandwiches & that’s good to know.